Just Do It

So here I am embarking on my maiden voyage into the ocean of bloggers. I have been cancelling my sailing plans too many times. Then one day, a blogger friend 'standupphilosopher' Tony Gayondato told me to "just do it".

So let's just do it. The same mantra I used when I decided to marry and leave Malaysia eight years ago. I struggled with my decision for months. A lot of mixed feelings danced through my head. Eventually, I did it. I lived in Texas for 21 months before packing up and moving to Germany in 2001. Time and again, I kept using "just do it" to get from one phase of life to another and that has afforded me numerous adventures.

If I had adopted this mindset much earlier in life, I sometimes wonder where would it have led me. I certainly do not have regrets about my current life but if I only knew then what I know now, I could have avoided a lot of heartache. Still, it is those heartaches that molded me to be what I am today. So now, along with "just do it", I say "take it or leave it".

I was a single, not-so-happy-go-lucky girl in the boy-girl relationship department back in the late 80s and most part of the 90s. I often wondered what would it take for a guy to notice me. I was advised by a cousin that I should be more lady-like because that is what men like. I wondered how much more lady-like could I be. I was already wearing dresses, jackets and skirts along with some decent high-heels to work and church. I tried to be more gentle in thoughts, words and deeds. Still, insults came my way from people who had valid reasons why I remained single. One being that I was born Eurasian thus a little more free with the opposite sex compared to other races; by default, a bad reputation. Even if I tried to convince them I was The Late Mother Teresa's novice, I was guilty by birth.

Finally, I said, "enough is enough. I don't care if I remain single for the rest of my life. I don't care if my life partner ever appears in my life". I was trying too hard. I was not being myself. I asked myself "why pretend to be someone I am not? There is more to life than this." From that day, many things started changing for me. I started speaking my mind and found myself a happier person.

Although leaving the country has been hard on me, I had to do it to get to the next phase in life. I still wish I could return and live among my family and friends but along with the good things in life, we sometimes have to take the not-so-ideal arrangements.