Idiotic Story

Have you ever wondered what was so important that the person who is sitting in front of you cannot put his/her mobile device down for one second? How about when you are in public and someone right in front of you takes up the a bit of the walk space but is not paying attention to what is in front of him/her. Instead he/she is looking his/her mobile device. Why can't people have the courtesy to put aside or step aside? 

It is quite disconcerting to be having a meal with a bunch of friends only to have most of them glued to their mobile devices instead of interacting with each other. It is really downright rude to be invited to a get-together in someone's house, only to find some people sitting in the corner playing with their electronic devices. I can understand if one wants to do a quick check and reply (if it is urgent) but  total devotion to the device (and whoever one is interacting with on the phone) in front of others is just plain rude.

What has technology done to this generation of people? 

(http://imgace.com/pic/2012/11/einstein-quote-on-fear-of-generation-of-idiots/)

I rest my case. :)

Believe in yourself

"Stand up for others, even if it’s the unpopular thing to do. – Sometimes you will say something really small and simple, but it will fit right into an empty space in someone’s heart. Dare to reach into the darkness, to pull someone else into the light. Remember, strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others too, and lend a hand when they’re able."
(taken from 10 Things to Do Even if They Judge You)

When you believe so strongly in what you want to pursue but find yourself at odds with some people, there will always be at least one person who will go against the odds and believe in you. That person will risk being unpopular because he/she understands you and will stand up for you. That strong person in your life will touch your heart not only because he/she is there for you but holds your hand when most have walked away.

I am sure you have heard this line - "people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime".  Over the years I have learned that friends will come and go in my life. They will come in for a reason and when the purpose or need is accomplished, they move away. Sometimes they are in your life to fulfill their own needs and other times some are there in your life because they have a role to play in your journey. Everytime these 'friends' drop off your radar, you will eventually realise why they were there in your life at one point. Sometimes it is sad because you wish you could hold on to these friendships but we know that we cannot force people to be in our lives anymore than we expect others to force us to be in theirs. So, we learn and move on. We focus on what matters to us.

No one has the right to judge you unless they have walked your journey. Only you know what is best for yourself.

For those who are struggling or know of someone who is struggling to move forward, I would like to share this from Marc and Angel Hack Life:

10 Things You Must Give Up to Move Forward

1. Letting the opinions of others control your life. – People know your name, not your story. They’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through. So take their opinions of you with a grain of salt. In the end, it’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts. Sometimes you have to do exactly what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.

2.The shame of past failures. – You will fail sometimes, and that’s okay. The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. Your past does not equal your future. Just because you failed yesterday; or all day today; or a moment ago; or for the last six months; or for the last sixteen years, doesn’t have any impact on the current moment. All that matters is what you do right now. Read Awaken the Giant Within.

3.Being indecisive about what you want. – You will never leave where you are until you decide where you would rather be. It’s all about finding and pursuing your passion. Neglecting passion blocks creative flow. When you’re passionate, you’re energized. Likewise, when you lack passion, your energy is low and unproductive. Energy is everything when it comes to being successful. Make a decision to figure out what you want, and then pursue it passionately.

4.Procrastinating on the goals that matter to you. – There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. Follow your intuition. Don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. When there is love and inspiration, you can’t go wrong. And whatever it is you want to do, do it now. There are only so many tomorrows. Trust me, in a year from now, you will wish you had started today.

5.Choosing to do nothing. – You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when. You can only decide how you are going to live, right now. Every day is a new chance to choose. Choose to change your perspective. Choose to flip the switch in your mind from negative to positive. Choose to turn on the light and stop fretting about with insecurity and doubt. Choose to do work that you are proud of. Choose to see the best in others, and to show your best to others. Choose to truly LIVE, right now.

6.Your need to be right. – If you keep on saying you’re right, even if you are right now, eventually you will be wrong. Aim for success, but never give up your right to be wrong. Because when you do, you will also lose your ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

7.Running from problems that should be fixed. – We make life harder than it has to be. The difficulties started when… conversations became texting, feelings became subliminal, sex became a game, the word ‘love’ fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living, jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution. Stop running! Face these issues, fix the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive and LOVE the people in your life who deserve it.

8.Making excuses rather than decisions. – Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving. A mistake doesn’t become a failure until you refuse to correct it. Thus, most long-term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions.

9.Overlooking the positive points in your life. – What you see often depends entirely on what you’re looking for. Do your best and surrender the rest. When you stay stuck in regret of the life you think you should have had, you end up missing the beauty of what you do have. You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for the good things in your life right now. Read The Happiness Project.

10.Not appreciating the present moment. – We do not remember days, we remember moments. Too often we try to accomplish something big without realizing that the greatest part of life is made up of the little things. Live authentically and cherish each precious moment of your journey. Because when you finally arrive at your desired destination, I guarantee you, another journey will begin.

Letting go of 2011

Everyone goes through ups and downs in their lives. It is how we deal with it that determines the outcome. It is easier to deal with the ups because we are in a happy state and feel empowered. However, it is the downs that test our courage and determination.

2011 has been tumultuous year for me. I found myself questioning a lot about my future and making decisions that did not fall favourably with some people in my life but I felt I had to do something about it. No one else could change the situation that needed addressing except me. I also found out real truths that were hidden behind promises made to me previously. In this whole process, I learned and realised that I lost some things to gain others.


Some days I wake up feeling lonely and question my decision while other days I am raring to go because it feels right and am happy. When I am down, I look for inspiration to lift me up. It may be a phone call to a friend or just looking for something online to read. One of my sources of inspiration has been Tiny Wisdom (http://tinybuddha.com/) Today, I came across something that caused me to ponder:

40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain
(http://tinybuddha.com/blog/40-ways-to-let-go-and-feel-less-pain/)

From that list of 40, these struck me:

1. Change your perception—see the root cause as a blessing in disguise.

2. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D., biochemist at the Ramset Medical Center in Minneapolis crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.

3. Make a list of your accomplishments—even the small ones— and add to it daily. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self satisfaction.

A little digression, if you will allow me. I have always been happy with my little accomplishments over the years. That is one thing I always had in me. It gave me hope that if I could do that, I am capable of bigger things. However, I cannot help but remember how some people used to dampen my high spirits. I recall one incident being overjoyed seeing three months' worth of salary on a bonus cheque. I felt my hard work had paid off and felt appreciated. However, that joy was quickly shot down when one of my colleagues (who, by the way, earned three times more than I did on any given month) said very proudly "Your bonus is nothing. I earn that amount every month."

I faced a similar situation recently. I was so proud of the fact that I could save up loose change and within a month stashed away about $100. That is quite an achievement for me seeing that I was never able to do that previously with pocket change. I felt I had accomplished something in life - as small as it looks to some. When I mentioned this to a friend, my joy was shortlived for a moment when she said "$100 is nothing. Mine is always double that." I told that friend that my earning power is not as big as hers.


After that instead of feeling inferior like the previous time with the bonus cheque issue, I remembered a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt - "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Coming back to the list of 40, here are other points that I find poignant:

4. Focus all your energy on something you can actually control, instead of dwelling on things you can’t.

5. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings. (this inspired me to write today).

6. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.

7. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”

8. Metaphorically release it. Write down all your stresses and toss the paper into your fireplace.
(I do not have a fireplace. So tearing it up will be just as good).

9. Replace your thoughts. Notice when you begin thinking about something that stresses you so you can shift your thought process to something more pleasant—like your passion for your hobby.

10.Laugh it out. Research shows that laughter soothes tension, improves your immune system, and even eases pain. If you can’t relax for long, start with just ten minutes watching a funny video on YouTube.

Going through the list does not fix me but it brings to light that situations do not have to remain bleak. It gives hope. It tells me that the sun will come up tomorrow.

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Gone Fishing

Oh dear! It has been exactly two months since I've returned to my blog. I have nothing much to update here. I have vowed to stay away from unhappy things. That means ...

... no opinion on:

1. Politics! Current situations and policies make me unhappy. Hence, no comment.
“Politics, n: Poly "many" + tics "blood-sucking parasites”

2. Friends - fair-weathered ones.
"Do not make someone a priority in your life when you are only an option in theirs"

I am happily involved with my favourite all-time game on Facebook - Farm Town. The other games on FB are just to fill in time while I wait for crops to grow, facilities to produce and Farm Town developers to keep upgrading. :)

I am also enjoying the weather now. Finally, thawed myself out after a long winter.

I will be back soon ... hmmm... ok, probably in about a month or two.

"GONE FISHING"


HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY USA!

Loneliness

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” - Mother Teresa

Seems like even though you know that you are loved most of the times, there are times when loneliness sets in and you feel unloved. Everyone is so busy with their lives that you think you don't exist to anyone. You want to reach out to someone, then you change your mind because you feel you might be imposing on them or you are just too embarass to admit you need someone. It gets frustrating because you just don't have anyone to talk to and you start feeling so hopeless and crushed. You feel you cannot breathe because that feeling of loneliness is so stifling. Then you just stay there with laboured breath waiting for someone to notice and pick you up. Sadly, sometimes, no one cares. You feel rejected when they reach out to people who seem to not need it. They go merrily on their way not noticing that you are now curled on the floor with no more strength to ask for help.

Then suddenly something inside you jolts you to reality. The survivor in you tells you that you have to pick yourself up and say "this too shall pass". You realise for others to reach out to you, you must first reach out to them but you cannot possibly do that when you are feeling so down. So, you have to cast that low feeling aside. And then you say your first hello after that dark episode with that person not knowing what pain you just went through because it has passed.

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.” - Orson Welles

Memories of 2009

Soon, it will be a year since we moved back to Germany. We arrived in the dead of winter and went through all four seasons. Well, almost all four. We were short changed this year. We barely had a decent summer and it seemed mother nature decided to jump straight into winter. 2009 has been a good year, on the whole.

Coming back to a familiar territory made it easier for me to adapt compared to the first time in 2001. Language wasn't too much of a barrier this time. I remember not having a clue how to order in a restaurant back then and got by with hand signs and a book. Driving around wasn't a challenge either. We used to get by with maps before and now, apart from being familiar with some roads, we depend on the GPS to bring us to places we have not ventured to before.

I delved into gardening this year and had a blast of a time discovering the beauty and yield of trees and plants that the landlord left behind for us. It was a treat to pick cherries, plums and blackberries from my garden. Apart from that, I enjoyed seeing the change of colours over the months with the different kinds of flowers that adorned my garden. With a few months' worth of trial and error taking care of my garden, I am looking forward to next Spring to try out new things.

2009 was a memorable year in terms of re-connecting with old friends, relatives (some long lost) and making new ones. Facebook took up a lot of my time. I was hooked on word games like Word Twist and Scramble. Then, I moved on to farming games like Farm Town, Farm Ville and (Lil) Farm. Lately, Cafe World and Mafia Wars have stolen hours of my life. :) It is fun being able to play this games with family and some friends. Suddenly my world does not seem so vast. Almost everyone is just a click away. I could have used this kind of contact when I first moved away from Malaysia. It would have soothe my aching heart from missing my loved ones.

A wedding took place in the family too and I was fortunate to visit Malaysia twice this year. Once in July and another time in October. Apart from the excitement being with family again, sometimes emptiness set in. The void that no one else can fill except my late parents. I missed them at family dinners and especially during the wedding reception. One thing I know for sure, mom and dad would have loved my brother's bride. He couldn't have chosen a more delightful woman to be his partner.

I have learned and re-learned many things in 2009 and one of it is to always be thankful for what I have - family, friends and things that make my life comfortable.

My French Connection - Final Part

Note: Gosh! A thousand apologies for this late update. Thank you, my friends, for leaving comments. It has been so difficult for me to blog when I had other distractions these past few months.

While I was folding some clothes in the laundry room this evening, I told myself that I have to write the final part, no matter how short it is, and end the story of my journey in France earlier this year.

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We arrived Lourdes around 6:00pm. Once we received our room keys, we dispersed very quickly. Indeed, we were in need of another good shower and change of clothing before dinner.

A brief information about this place:

Lourdes is a commune in the Hautes-Pyrénées department in south-western France. It is a small market town lying in the foothills of the Pyrenees, famous for the Marian apparitions of Our Lady of Lourdes that are reported to have occurred in 1858 to Bernadette Soubirous. At that time, the most prominent feature of the town was the fortified castle that rises up from a rocky escarpment at its centre. (Read more here)

Scene from the hill where pilgrims pray

After dinner, while some in my group could not wait to explore the town, I was ready to relax. No more exploring. I had not been online for two days by then and I was itching to check my emails and Facebook. I was glad I did not go out because I started feeling the exhaustion from the long bus ride and stops along the way. I was knocked out by 10:00 o'clock that night.

Next morning, I overheard someone say he was going wine shopping and that person knew exactly where to find it. He and his wife have been there before.

Being new to the community and not knowing anyone except he and his family, I asked if I could join them. Of course, he obliged and pulled along others who were interested in walking downtown with him.

By the day's end, I had made friends with a splendid group of people. Our common weakness - the yummiest cappuccino in town. We always found an excuse to end up in that shop (after fulfilling religious activities).

Cappuccino topped with the creamiest of cream I have ever
tasted and served with a piece of dark chocolate.

The weekend we were there happened to be the International Military weekend. It was such a treat taking in the sights and sounds of military from all over the world (well, almost). I have always admired men and women in military uniform and this was all exciting for me.

We left Lourdes tired but happy that we fulfilled our pilgrimage and extras on the way.

One final extra was exploring Carcassonne, a fortified city. More info here.

We arrived there just in time for lunch. While most of us sat down to eat, some of us did not want to miss a thing and had something on the go and explored the whole city.

One of the things that will always stand out in my memory is that one finds many positions to try and get comfortable in a long bus ride. With two seats each to ourselves, most of us did quite well. Towards the end I got tired of letting my legs hang out in the aisle. I contemplated putting them up against the window but that would warrant unwanted attention. So I told myself "a few more hours and I will be back on my comfortable bed." In fact, that was something we all looked forward to - back in our homes for a much-needed good, long nap.

My French Connection - Part 2

Figuring out the menu in French was a little challenging at first. However, as I glanced through the menu, I began remembering a few words and what little I knew of the language I translated for my lunch companions. It was not hard to figure out what dish one is going to order once one knows what are the French words for beef, chicken, pork and fish. We were all set on ordering what we wanted when minutes before the waitress arrived, I figured out the restaurant had lunch specials too. Lunch specials were considerably cheaper.

After lunch, we headed back to the bus in a rush thinking that we were holding up the others. We were told that we had until 1:00pm to eat something. When we got there, we found that half the bus load were still out there somewhere. I guess most of us opted out of fast food and went in search for a good meal at the restaurant.

We finally moved about 1:30pm and made our way to Avignon. We arrived at the City of Palace of the Popes by 6:00pm. I was so glad to have finally reached a destination where I could rest for the night. Sitting on the bus for another night would have been torturous.

Once we picked up our room keys from the coordinator, we were requested to be at the dining room by 7:00pm. As you can imagine, with less than an hour, I had no time to unpack. However, I desperately needed a shower to feel refreshed. And boy! it was a good one after more than 12 hours in the same clothes. I suppose many of us felt that way because when we met at dinner time, we all had a sigh of relief whenever the topic of shower came up.

It has been more than four months now since that trip to Avignon. I cannot remember what we ate but I have a photo of it. This is what we had for entree ...

... and this was the main meal.

After dinner, four of us at our dinner table, decided to walk around and take in the evening sights. We called it a night when we headed back to our rooms at 10:00pm. I believe I was knocked out by 11:00pm after making sure I got some pictures transferred to my laptop.

Next morning, after my shower, I headed out to the main square to take in the sights again and get more pictures. I was taking some pictures of myself when a kind stranger came up to me and offered to take one of me with the palace in the background.

After that, I headed back to the hotel for breakfast. We had about 3 hours after our meal to do a little touring around the city before checking out and continuing our journey to Lourdes. Off I went to the Palace of the Popes. Rich in history, I won't even know where to begin but you can read it here. :)


At 12:00 noon, we got back on our bus to make our way to Lourdes, catching in some sights of the city which we missed.

To be continued ...

Meme: Save Yvonne's Sight

I was not ready to come back from my break (having too much fun in Facebook) but after being tagged by Ruby Ahmad for the Save Yvonne's Sight Meme, I decided to return for a brief moment to share this story.

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Yvonne Foong Ming Niang received 'Her World Young Achiever 2008' (read here) award early this year, for she has achieved more than most people have done in a lifetime.

Her continuing fight against neurofibromatosis (NF) is legendary. Neurofibromatosis (NF) causes tumours to keep growing inside her body.

Yvonne has received a long list of awards for her tireless work to go on living & help others along the way, for she is a fighter, a feisty wonderful young lady.

To know more about Yvonne, here are some write ups:

Marina Mahathir has blogged about Yvonne : please read this

Sharon Bakar has also blogged about her plight before : please read this.

Yvonne is scheduled for an operation between 1st - 4th December 2009. She has lost her hearing and now faces losing her sight too. The cost of her surgery is USD44,000 or RM154,770 and cost of staying in hospital for two weeks is USD915 or RM3,219. She has to raise the funds by herself.

To date, she has raised about RM10,000 of this and is hoping to raise the rest by republishing her book I'm Not Sick; I'm Just a Bit Unwell in English and Chinese. The books are now available in Malaysian bookshops and from her web site store. She is also selling T-shirts at bazaars and via her web site store. You can read about her surgery and donate to her fund here

.

You can also help by sending on this meme. If you do, please follow these meme rules:

1. Create a blog entry titled "Meme: Save Yvonne's Sight"

2. List three things you love to see. Add in the picture of Yvonne's book cover. The URL is http://www.yvonnefoong.com/images/banner/my-story.jpg

3. End with the line, "Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com.

4. Tag 5 blog friends. Be sure to copy the rules, OK?

5. If you have a Facebook account, please check out Ellen's new invention, a "feme" pronounced FEEM, a meme designed for Facebook here. And if you want to blog about NF, that would be great too!

Three things I love to see:
(not in any particular order)

1 People learning to live with each other

2 Loved ones (family and friends)

3 Beauty of nature and all it has to offer

Unfortunately, I am not going to pin this on anyone (breaking one of the rules of this meme). I have not been in the blogsphere for some months and am unsure as to who is still active with blogging. So please, if anyone out there who would like to meme or feme this, feel free.

Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF).
Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com

On a break

Apologies for the long absence. After many attempts of trying to write Part 2 of My French Connection, I have decided not to pressure and force myself to do it until I am good and ready. For those who have been waiting for it, a thousand apologies. I promise to get back to it as soon as I can. Summer is keeping me busy with other things.

See you soon ...

My French Connection - Part 1

I keep telling myself to update my blog but everytime I sit down to do it, my mind goes blank. I was at the point of just shutting down my blog so that it does not have to worry me. I contemplated putting up another sabbatical sign. Then I thought, let's just write anything that comes to mind (as I have been told many times). So, let's see where this goes.

What have I been up to besides keeping busy in the garden? A road trip. More like a pilgrimage and short vacation rolled into one. I felt I needed to go on this pilgrimage for many reasons, one of it was to establish connection with people in the community. See, I am new to the American community here in Germany. I found, in the past, that when I get involved in something at the church it is usually a stepping stone to less lonely Sundays. From there, I get to move on to other activities and soon I feel part of a community. I was so used to sitting alone in a corner of a church that I continued the same pattern yesterday. And one of my new friends (from the pilgrimage) asked me why did I sit alone and away, like as though I was punishing myself. As much as I wanted to join that new friend in a seat behind, it was out of habit that I preferred my quiet corner (and admittedly, I did not want to impose on that person).

Anyway, our pilgrimage started on a Tuesday afternoon. When I arrived at the parking lot of the church, it seemed like everyone was just mingling around and chatting. I thought "well, that's good, I can go put my bags in the bus immediately and find a good seat." The minute I parked, it looked as though everyone moved to the bus immediately. Darn! I thought maybe I should have drove by the bus, dropped my bags off and then looked for parking. :D

When I finally got my luggage bag into the bus and took my hand luggages with me, I found that there were limited seats at the bottom of the double-decker bus assigned to our parish (we were sharing this bus ride with two other parishes). I would have loved those seats with the table facing other passengers. Then I thought, "it is going to be a long journey and I will need to stretch out. I cannot imagine stretching out my legs on the table. That would be rude." So up I went in search for the ultimate butt comforter. I found mine. We had enough seats in the bus where most of us could each take two seats. That was good enough for me. After checking my car for the umpteenth time to make sure it is locked (did the same thing with the house till it drove me crazy with sweat!), up the bus and eventually off we went to the next parish to pick up the rest of the group.

At that stop, while everyone was getting their luggage in the compartment below, a few of us ran off to Burger King to get some bites for the start of our long journey. We left about 6:00pm, I think. The bus driver made several stops along the way and as it went on, I got to know more people around me. Mostly, from around my seat where we shared cookies and chips. By the time it was 12 midnight, the bus became very quiet. Most of us were asleep except for some of us (namely me) who found it hard to get some shut eye. I occupied myself with a movie on my Ipod. I had to watch "Mamma Mia" - I needed something light and happy and musical. The sad part about watching that movie in a quiet bus, I could not belt out the songs as they sang. That was excrutiating! :) Then I thought, maybe if I listened to some songs, that would put me to sleep. Nope! did not work as well. Not a restful sleep anyway. It was more like a repeat of 40-winks session. And each time that I did get to doze off, the bus stopped at some station. Mind you, I never waste a stop. No siree. That is when I dash to the bathroom and then get myself a cup of hot coffee or cocoa. By the way, listening to those songs started taking me back to some memories of the past. Oh yeah, let me tell you that is not a great way to sleep when you start thinking about lost family members, lost loves and funny moments.

We finally arrived at our first destination at 6:00am, one hour too early. It was L'Espace Bernadette Soubirous in Nevers, France. By the way, as a young 14 year old girl, Bernadette Soubirous had 18 visions of the Blessed Lady in a grotto in the outskirts of Lourdes. To read more, go here.

This is a home reserved for pilgrims who come individually or in organized groups and individuals wishing to make a retreat, a spiritual stop. After the gates opened at 7:00am, we got to freshen up in the bathrooms and headed for breakfast. We had cereal, cold cuts, french bread (duh!), hard boiled eggs, butter and a selection of jams. One thing that was odd at breakfast was the way they served coffee. One of the ladies in our group looked for coffee cups and found them in the cabinet below the buffet table but one the helpers in that place said we should use bowls there were set out. I thought that was strange but we just followed her suggestion. So, I had cereal in a bowl followed by coffee in a bowl.

Maybe that sweet lady thought that the French coffee cups were just too little for the American pilgrims. :D

After breakfast, we attended mass celebrated by two priests who travelled with us. Thereafter, we took pictures of the place, walked the gardens and bought some souvenirs. I believe by 11:00pm, we were back on the bus and on the way to our next stop, Avignon. Since Avignon was about 6 hours away, we had to stop for lunch. We were supposed to stop at a McDonald's ... and we did. Only thing is, we saw a lovely restaurant called Buffalo Grill. Needless to say, almost half of our group ended up in that restaurant. Since most of the pilgrims came with families, there were a few 'strays' like singles or married people who came solo. So we, approximately three of us, ended up taking a table and tried to figure out the menu in French.

To be continued ...

A Clueless Gardener in a real garden

Spring is in the air and the birds and bees doing what they need to do; as nature intended. There is a distinct sound of spring for me - people gardening, lawn mower going off somewhere, and chatter coming from neighbours nearby as they sit around in their porches.

As spring broke, I began to see the garden slowly come to life. It was a welcoming sight after a dreadful winter. Then I started worrying - what do I trim and what do I throw or pull out? I was still learning how to keep a garden back in Leesville and now I was suddenly thrown into a smorgasbord of flora (compared to what I had back home in my virgin garden). I was afraid I may pull out and discard the wrong plants. It was time to ask for help. I usually try not to bother the landlords because of my lack of fluency of the language (otherwise they would have had me hanging out in their apartment from the time we met in December). However, I did not worry so much when I found out that their son, their walking translator, was around. Eager to help me out, they were there the next day after I made that gardening-911 call.

The son took care of cleaning out some icky green stuff from the top of the pond while his parents showed me what needs trimming. Luckily, I sought their help. What I thought were weeds turned out to be a bed of beautiful tiny blue flowers.

The parents trimmed and threw away lots of weeds and dead leaves. I kept telling them that I will do the rest (with the help of Jochen, the interpreter) and just show me what I need to do and take care of. Either they did not trust this clueless gardener or they just loved what they were doing. Within two hours, they had done half the garden.

They left behind a green house too and initially I thought there were weeds taking over that place. It turned out to be parsley! I told you I was a clueless gardener. Anyway, suddenly the mother had a bright idea. She said "let's go shopping for some salad to plant." Jochen, of course, translated and went on to say that his mother would like take me to the store where we can get them. The father wanted to help me get my vegetable patch going. I thought Jochen was going to accompany us but learned that he will stay back and help his father clean up more. Just then, I panicked and wondered where is the thunderstorm when you need it. I could not avoid this trip to the store and did not want to offend her. So, I got into the car with her and off we went.

It wasn't too bad. I managed to speak some German. But boy! it took some effort. When we got to the store, it got a little easier. I was so captivated by the beauty around me. All I kept saying was "schoen" (beautiful). That alone killed some good minutes and saved me from struggling to form a sentence. After we bought what she needed, she paid (told me it was on her), we got in the car with our prized salads and headed home. When we arrived at the house, almost everything looked trimmed and clean. The biggest surprise - they got the fountain working. It was such a welcoming sight.

After four weeks of taking care of the rest (a little more pruning, trimming and mowing the lawn), I have this garden now. (If you are on my list in Facebook, you would have seen these already).

I am now going to sit in my porch and enjoy a cup of tea.

Home Sweet Home

It was 7:00pm. I looked out and was glad to finally see light at that hour - a sure sign we are moving into spring. Suddenly it brought back memories of my days when I worked in Kuala Lumpur. That was the hour I would be on my way home on the KTM commuter train, just about a halt or two before mine, Telok Gadong.

There was a sense of relief to be away from the maddening city crowd. Within an hour, I was in a much more easy-going atmosphere. The walk from the halt to my house took about 5 minutes - 5 minutes of getting in touch with local feel. From the sounds of the crows perched on the electrical lines and around the sundry shop/mini-market to the chatter of people in the restaurant having dinner.

Then, I finally arrive at my gate. Back then, it was safe that we did not need to lock it all day. Our dogs did the job of warding off strangers. So it saved me precious seconds that would take to unlock the gate. My specific memory of this hour was after my niece was born. My mum helped look after her during the day. I looked forward to returning everyday - not only to be in the comforts of home but to play with my niece. I remember how her face lighted up when she saw me at the door. When she started walking, it was such a delight to watch her use the rails to help her down two steps from the dining room. Once she had her footing in the living room, she would run over to me for a hug and kiss. Then, I would proceed to my mum's room, sit on the floor, chat with her for awhile and watch the little girl's antics. If my brothers were home, they would soon join us in the room.

When I first left Malaysia, those memories kept me going yet made me feel sad - I was missing home. These days, they just make me feel nostalgic for the days gone by. Just one memory of coming home at 7:00pm leads to other memories of simpler days.

Unexpected great moments

You may have seen this in your inbox before but I feel re-reading it gives us a gentle reminder about important lessons in life. I think there are several within this story and not just at the end which is the title of this post. Everyone picks up different lessons because we are unique individuals. There is no wrong answer because feelings are never wrong. What strikes you most?

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I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked.

'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'..

'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.'

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. 'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up.. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

Image at: www.hayko.com/paintings.htm

'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Celebrations of Life and Love

In about a week, the world celebrates Valentine's Day. I do not really have fond memories of this day as a teenager or in my early 20s because I was a late bloomer. When there was someone in my life, it was never around February (talk about luck, huh?). :D

I told myself that someday when I do have someone to share the day with, it will be special. Well, it was - a long distance relationship which led to marriage. The distance did not make the day any less special. We exchanged gifts and cards via post and chatted online.

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." -Helen Keller

Almost 10 years later, we have settled into an understanding that we will not make a big deal out of Valentine's Day. Frankly, it has becomes so commercialised (like Christmas) that sometimes the true meaning of the day is lost.

I rather celebrate my birthday (which falls four days before cupid makes his appearance) because everyday is Valentine's Day to me (except the days when the love of my life should be sleeping with one eye open). :P

"Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable. " - Henry Ward Beecher

So, what do we do on my birthday? If it is a week day, he goes to work and I go shopping! I treat myself to something nice and buy a cake from the bakery and wait for the weekend to celebrate my birthday with a meal.

Now, what would it be like if I were living in Malaysia? Then, I think it would be slightly different - a not-so-quiet affair. Family and some faithful friends will insist on getting together. This was the norm when I was single. We had a special meal at home and then when the weekend came around, the old faithfuls would choose a spot in K.L. to make it an evening of food, cake and booze. No, I did not touch the booze because I was always the designated driver (birthday or otherwise). The times when I did drink were the nights when I was guaranteed a safe ride home.

So, coming back to Valentine's Day, did you know that 188 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine's Day the second-most popular greeting-card-giving occasion? (This total excludes packaged kids valentines for classroom exchanges.) (Source: Hallmark research)

You can find more interesting facts at http://www.history.com/content/valentine/did-you-know

Oh .. and if you are looking for the history of Valentine's Day, check it out here.

Happy Valentine's Day to all who are celebrating it and Happy Any-Day-Is-A-Good-Day Day for those who choose to celebrate it another day.

And for those who got married on Valentine's Day, Happy Anniversary.

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This and that

You would have probably noticed by now that there is this weird weather system going on around the world. This is, by far, one of the coldest winters I have experienced. This makes me wonder, is there really global warming? I am no geological expert but my body certainly can tell it is not getting any warmer ... at least during this winter season. Sub-zero temperatures for more than a week is uncomfortable and unusual. And this comes from someone who is fortunate enough to be in a warm house (and grateful for it). I feel sorry for those who are homeless and those who have to work in horrendous icy temperatures because they do not have a choice.

On the positive side, I now have a huge freezer - my garden. If there is no place for food in the refrigerator, just put it out on the porch and it will be good the next day. I just need to make sure it is covered so that the neighbour's cat does not help himself to a frozen feast. Also, the garden looks pretty all white with snow (just ignore the plants that are trying to survive).

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Now, for a little walk down memory lane ... what were you doing in 1987? This only applies to those who remember 1987 for there is a possibility that some readers could have either been too young or too drunk to remember. :) One way I recall a piece of yesteryear is through music. Hearing a familiar song transports me back to a specific memory.

Here are a couple of Top 10s of 1987 that may jog your memory:

Billboard's Biggest Single

1. Faith by George Michael
2. Alone by Heart
3. I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston
4. C'est La Vie by Robbie Nevil
5. Shake You Down by Gregory Abbot
6. La Bamba by Los Lobos
7. Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi
8. Here I Go Again by Whitesnake
9. Heaven is a Place On Earth by Belinda Carlisle
10. The Time Of My Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

Most Watched TV Shows

1. The Cosby Show
2. A Different World
3. Cheers
4. The Golden Girls
5. Growing Pains
6. Who's The Boss
7. Night Court
8. 60 Minutes
9. Murder, She Wrote
10. Alf

Do any of these songs or TV shows bring back a specific memory?

Back to Life .. in Germany!

Happy New Year, y'all. I am back to blogging. It has certainly been a much enjoyed break. I am still busy with Facebook and see that as my first tool of communication these days but hope to be able to juggle blogging too.

By the way, I am back in Deutschland! We moved back here mid-December and hope to be around for a while. This time, we moved with a dog in tow. I thought it would be complicated to transport a dog ourselves but it turned out painless. Well, at least between USA and Germany. So, we saved a lot of $$$ taking care of it ourselves. I am hoping when it is time to return to the States, it would prove just as easy.

As I write this, Peanut is fast asleep on one of our recliners. He has learned that it is not so fun staying out too long in sub-zero temperatures. The pond in the garden of the house we are renting is frozen on top and am amazed that the fishes are still alive at the bottom. The landlord said that we do not have to feed them until they start swimming up and around.

We are waiting for the Germans (well ... the ones that affect our comfort) to get back to work. They take their holidays seriously and long, I might add. We arrived at a time when the country was in a holiday mood and some of them won't return to work till the 7th of January!! We need to get our internet connections and satellite ordered and set up.

The only reason I am able to get online these days is because the landlord's son was kind enough to lend us his web n' walk device (internet connection anywhere). He will need it when he goes back to work, though, and I worry that I may be off line for a week or two from the end of next week. I am getting too old for inconveniences like these. Oh wait ... I am getting too spoilt with the communication tools of today. I wonder how I got on without internet connection at home back in 2001. It was sufficient to just check emails every other day at the library. Keeping my fingers crossed all will work out for the best.

Now, if you will excuse me, Peanut needs a bathroom break and he has the whole garden to himself. Happy Freezing your ... off, boy! :D

A Wish For You

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

O Christmas Tree by Renie Britenbucher

Break Time!

Yes, I am on another break and will not be blogging for a while but I leave you with this ...

"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived." played by Patrick Stewart, from the film "Star Trek: Generations"

Curving gravel road through autumn countryside in Central Scotland
From website: http://www.wolforest.com

My Writuals

I was tagged sometime back by Elviza and was honoured to be counted as a writer in her eyes. I assure you I am anything but. Half the time, I do not know what to write about. What sounds good in my head is quite the opposite when it is typed out. That is when I imagine the reader having more interest in the writings of a struggling student in school.

Then again, I should not be too hard on myself. I have not been writing much because another social networking activity has distracted me on top of my other interests. My muse must be burnt out from multi-tasking in Facebook, my garden and kitchen.

So, what are my Writuals (when I am actually writing something other than e-mails)? Read on ...

Where are you?

In a semi-dark living room, TV switched off, with me sitting in my chair and the laptop on a stand in front of me.

What are you writing with?

The gifts of ten fingers (counting the days to arthiritis), a pair of eyes (which needed the help of spectacles 15 years ago) and a hand-me-down laptop.

(Everything's aching right now! yes, even the laptop - he acts erratically when I make him multi-task and expect him to process quickly. Typical male, no?).

What's the oddest object in front of you?

My pencil sharpener/holder which I use as a paper weight. I am not sticking the pencil in it. You know where it goes. :P
(I bought this more than a decade ago when I was working in Kuala Lumpur.)

What are you listening to?

Usually when I want to write, it has to be silent. When I am doing other things like banking and emailing, my TV would be on either the news channel, comedy channel or a current TV series.

Is there anyone else in the room?

My faithful four-legged companion, Peanut, that sleeps on the ottoman. Sometimes he shares the chair with me with his head on my lap.

What time of day is it?

To write - whenever.

Right now, I am taking a break from working in the garden - 5:45pm

What do you look at when you're looking for inspiration?

Outside where I see the road in a distance with cars and trucks zooming by occasionally on a 25mph street (where are the police when you need them?). Sometimes, I get up from my chair and look at my backyard. The green, the neighbour's horses and just the quiet of country life gives me some kind of inspiration.

What is guaranteed to remove your concentration?

1. The phone ringing - mostly from telemarketers.
2. The dog barking for no good reason, which is rare. He sleeps most of the time.
3. Husband walking into the room - suddenly I am not alone (don't count the dog, he does not speak!) :P