... And the drama continues:
Age 21 - 24:
These were the years when I spent most of my weekends with my teenhood friends. We were involved in many youth games and took home championship trophies year after year for volleyball, netball and football. We also went out to night spots whenever we celebrated someone's birthday in the group. Somehow I always ended up the designated driver. I had to remain sober the whole night eventhough I had the honour of drinking myself silly when my birthday was celebrated. I remember being stopped at a police road block at 2:00am on a Saturday night. The policeman shone his torchlight into my car and found four guys slumped in their seats - clearly knocked out from drinking, one of them was brother dearest. The policeman looked at me, gave a huge grin, shook his head and waved me on.
It was also during these years when my cousins, on my mum's side, were beginning to get hitched. We looked forward to a wedding every year. Three weddings in Singapore and the rest in Malacca. I enjoyed the family reunions tremendously. They were lots of fun with laughter, music, song, dance and drinking. Every year we gained new family members. These new in-laws were always teased as part of the family initiation programme. If they could take it, they would fit it with ease. Of course, we never let anyone feel left out but that was sort of a test to weed out the 'sinners'. One had to be quick in thinking with those tongue-in-cheek jokes. Of course, we were never short of dirty jokes. It also helped a lot if we were witty too. Most of all, we had to be thick-skinned - it was hard to be humble with my relatives in Malacca.
At these gatherings, a game of bingo and/or blackjack was usually the order of the day. Food was always in abundance and tasted excellent. Gerard Santa Maria, mum's cousin, was an expert in cooking Portuguese food. He was the go-to-guy for all weddings. He cooked up a storm at every gathering.
Age 25 - 28:
By 25 years old, I had gone through two break-ups and a rebound relationship. The first love and I drifted apart - no rhyme or reason. The second one was about to leave the country when we met. We told ourselves we will not get serious yet feelings were stronger than words. I was heartbroken when he left. We tried to keep it alive but the distance proved to be very difficult for both of us. Devastated, I got caught in a rebound relationship. That relationship was a bitter lesson learned. I was spent - emotionally and mentally. I declared "no more relationships with men".
I moved to my second job at 26 years old. When I told my previous boss that I was leaving, he had tears in his eyes. Alamak! Truth is, I was just as sad and tried not to show my emotions. I don't know which felt sadder - leaving an excellent boss or seeing how sad he became? In reality, I could not live on the 'peanuts' pay cheque I was getting - it was not the boss' fault. He was not a partner of the firm and did not have a say in my remuneration. I loved the job but if stayed in that place, I would not get anywhere in position or pay.
I joined an I.T. recruitment company and remained there till I left the country in 1999. This new job gave me a new perspective in life. It was also the best job I had in my life in terms of career development, benefits and bonuses.
In my 27th year, my dad passed away. Exactly a week before he died, I had a very uneasy feeling. I was restless and told my mum that something bad is going to happen. I know I should not have worried her but the feeling left me anxious and it was obvious to her. She asked what was wrong with me. I had sleepless nights after that. The sounds from an owl, one night, kept me awake. I wondered where did that owl come from. I never heard it before. Monday morning came around and dad took ill without warning. He felt numb and weak and I rushed him to hospital at 6:15am. He went into a coma by Monday evening. That night, each time I closed my eyes, I saw a white cloth being pulled over dad's face. I could sleep anymore. I was afraid of the same scene being played over and over again. Mum was in hospital by his bedside. My two siblings were asleep while one brother was in Australia. I cannot remember what I did to stay awake that night. When morning came, as planned, I picked up three relatives who were arriving from Singapore. I brought them to the hospital immediately. That was the last time I saw dad breathing. When we returned to the hospital later, after the relatives had their lunch, dad was gone. He died on 14th June 1994.
Life went on.
It was during my no-man years that I enjoyed many holiday trips with my girlfriends. One of it was a vacation at Club Med Cherating with my friend, Anne. We quickly learn that the guys working there have the potential of being more than day time entertainers and coordinators. In case you are wondering, we never tested their 'potentiality'. Anne and I were more concerned about the monkeys who kept following us whenever we walked to our chalet. We later learned that the monkeys wanted the fruits we had in our hands. So, whenever we found monkeys sneaking up behind us, we would throw our fruits at them and run as fast as we could to our room. I began to wonder if the monkeys actually remembered Anne and me. No other guests seemed to have that problem. That got me worried that soon we may find monkeys waiting for us at our door.
Another memorable trip was with Pat (Lady Patsy) to Pan Pacific Pangkor. When we checked into the hotel, we got comfortable in our bathrobes and just talked the afternoon and evening away. We were busy building up plots and story lines for our future joint-project novel. We thought up of such an elaborate story that we forgot all about dinner. By the time, we done, it was 9:00pm. I bet Pat still remembers that story - pool boys, stable boys, rich bored housewives, exotic cars, mistresses, toyboys - the whole works. We spent the next few days by the hotel pool with the books that we brought with us. Of course, we kept our sunglasses on and peeked out ever so often to check out dudes in trunks. That was a good holiday.Age 29 - 32:I told him there has not been an 'us' for years. He then asked, "You mean, there is no more chance." I hoped he was joking but my instinct told me otherwise. I reminded him gently that he was the one who did not want to commit when we had a chance. He did not respond to that remark. I thought to myself "why now?". Yet I was definitely not changing my mind just because he finally said something.
TJ was being the guy whom I have known for years. He did not end the call abruptly even though I brushed him off that way. He changed the subject. That led to the topic of my search for a DeeJay for my wedding reception. He said he knew someone and will make enquiries for me. I appreciated his offer to help although I wondered why would he go through that trouble. I agreed to meet the DeeJay and him one evening. That was the last time I saw TJ. As expected, he did not turn up at church ceremony or the reception.
I moved to the States at 32. There were some things I had to change to adapt to the new environment. My style of cooking went from all things Malaysian to mat salleh. Within a year of being in Texas, I found a job as office manager for a financial company selling life insurance, mutual funds and home equity loans. I began to have friends outside the family. I finally felt settled.
Age 33- 36:
Two months after I turned 34, we moved to Germany. I secured a part-time job at an establishment that served the American community. It was a travel agency (apart from other businesses they had). I had to quickly learn my alphabets in German because it was just easier spelling out passengers names and airport codes in their language. A significant memory of that job was having about five passengers flying out in the week of September 11, 2001 to the States. As you can imagine, my boss and I were in a bind because on one end we had passengers who were worried about their tickets and reservations. On the other end, airline companies were in chaos - no one could give us immediate answers. All airports in the States shut down for a week. We finally managed to resolve all issues when the airports re-opened.
I also explored some European countries during these years.
Age 37- 40:
On one of my trips home to Malaysia during these years, I met TJ at a function where his band was playing. Yes, he still lives. We were surprised to see each other. We caught up on the lost years. I was glad to hear that he was finally getting married. I wished him well. That night was the last time I saw him... for real this time.
Back in Germany, I had a seasonal part-time job - manager of a tax office. Marion, a German married to an American, was hired to prepare taxes. Besides my management duties, my boss encouraged me to do client's taxes too. So, Marion showed me the ropes. We had many hilarious moments working together due to our 'blonde moments'. No offence to the natural blondes out there.
I will never forget one particular incident in the office. Marion had a client with her. I decided to sit in to learn the process, with prior permission from the client, of course. As Marion was typing his personal details in the computer, he was busy sorting out the documents he brought with him. She came to a column that asked if the client had a name suffix. Social name suffixes are almost exclusively applied to men. The most common name suffixes are senior and junior, limited chiefly to American usage. (from Wikipedia) Although we get all the personal information off a client sheet, we never assume in case the client missed that piece of information. We always ask to be sure.
Marion proceeded to ask, "Sir, do you have a cervix?"
"What??" answered the gentleman in a surprised tone.
"Oh my God" I thought to myself. "Marion, it's suffix. Suffix, not cervix." I quickly corrected her while hoping that the client did not hear her.
"Oops, sorry sir, I meant suffix." Marion said, clearly turning red
"Oh.. oh... No, ma'am. I do not have a suffix."
Marion carried on with her task as calmly as she could. 30 minutes later, the gentleman left our office. We burst out laughing till our stomachs hurt.
Marion found a full time job later that year. I missed her presence in the office during the next tax season but we were never out of touch.
In my 39th year, my mum passed away. She battled cancer for five years and finally gave up on 13th February 2006 - three days after my birthday. It was hard to accept that she was withering away. I telephoned her as much as I could until the day she could no longer recognise me anymore. It was one day after my 39th birthday.
"Hello?" a frail voice answered
"Mummy, it's me Jacqui"
"Who?"
"Jacqui, your daughter"
"I think you have the wrong number." *Click*
My instincts told me that her end was near. Two days later, I had a call to rush home. She was critically ill. While talking to my brother about the status of her condition, mum breathed her last. Two hours later, I booked my ticket home. I flew out on Valentine's Day. She was buried a day after I arrived.
Life went on.
I turned 40 this year. Four days later, on Valentine's Day, I flew home to Malaysia. Memories of events that took place a year ago seemed so distant, yet still fresh in my mind. During my stay in Klang, my siblings organised a get together with some old school friends. Our house was abuzz with excitement.
Just for a brief moment that evening, I stood quietly in one spot and scanned the room. 26 years had passed since we moved into that house in Klang. Our peers were now grown up and married with children. I saw their children sitting in the corner of the living room playing a card game. I thought to myself, "that used to be us". Then I looked at our friends. They were now the adults in the room.
There was no more talk of who had public caning that week at La Salle school. No more talk of who was the fiercest teacher in Klang. No more gossip of who's dating whom. Now, conversations centred around careers, children and retirement plans.
My parents' bedroom downstairs - empty of their presence. It has been converted into a TV room. We did that to keep it alive with noise. I imagined mum sitting in her chair watching TV while snacking on her favourite pulut cakes. I imagined dad standing around conversing with our friends. He always enjoyed talking to them when they visited us. Then, I looked at the dining table, which was the centre of many memories - food had to be replenished. I was back to reality. I turned around and walked into the kitchen to bring out more food.
Life goes on.
It has been a long time since I logged on to iVillage. It used to be my favourite website back in 1999. Life and events evolved and after a few years, I completely forgot about my daily read. I wonder if my email address at that website still works. I could check it ... if only I can remember my user ID and password!
1. Go on a Non-Diet (If Just for the Weekend)
3. Cut The Credit Card Noose! 
When I was single, there came a time when dating got a little tiresome. Maybe the breakups just drained me. 
7. Have Amazing, Meaningless Sex
