Lessons About The Way We Treat People

I received this from an old acquaintance today. I thought this would be worth sharing until I come up with something else to blog about.

Note: You would have probably seen some of these floating around for some time. I have received these stories several times over and it always serves as a gentle reminder about how I should treat people.

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Five Lessons to Make Us Think About The Way We Treat People

Lesson 1 - The Cleaning Lady

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Lesson 2 - Pick Up In The Rain

One night, at11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance, and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.

It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Lesson 3 - Always remember those who serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Lesson 4 - The Obstacle In Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The peasant learned what many of us never understand - Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Lesson 5 - Giving When It Counts

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

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"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

Happy Birthday Lady Patsy

My best friend, Lady Patsy a.k.a. Patricia Pereira celebrates her birthday today. She told me that she will be making a comeback to blogging on this auspicious day - after a long hiatus. I was so excited. I got on my horse (my knight in shining armour is too busy slaying dragons - someone's got to bring home food! mmm ..... dragon meat) and rode off to meet her. When I got there, her chamber doors were closed. I knocked on them and rapped on the windows - no sign of her. Maybe the Lady is on her way back. I hope she is not held up by a gang of marauders.

If they look anything like this ....

.... I am afraid, they will be in danger.

hahaha (sorry Pat, I could not help it)

Anyway, wherever you are Lady Patsy, here's wishing you a Very Happy Birthday.

Your Birthdate: September 27

You are a spiritual soul - a person who tries to find meaning in everything.
You spend a good amount of time meditating, trying to figure out life.
Helping others is also important to you. You enjoy social activities with that goal.
You are very generous and giving. Yet you expect very little in return.

Your strength: Getting along with anyone and everyone
Your weakness: Needing a good amount of downtime to recharge

Your power color: Cobalt blue
Your power symbol: Dove
Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Here are my e-gifts to you:

Lady Godiva chocolate

... and not forgetting some roses to brighten up your day.

I’m wishing you another year
Of laughter, joy and fun
Surprises, love and happiness,
And when your birthday’s done,
I hope you feel deep in your heart,
As your birthdays come and go,
How very much you mean to me,
More than you can know.

By Joanna Fuchs

Before I end this dedication to Lady Patsy, here are a couple of photos which bring back sweet memories. (There are other photos of the Lady and me together but most of them are back in Malaysia).

UPDATE: Lady Patsy has finally returned to blogging. Please drop by her chambers when you can.

Gifts - love 'em or leave 'em?

Let's face it ... we all appreciate gifts. Regardless of the occasion, birthday to wedding gifts, going-away to "just-because" gifts, we love to know what awaits us in that box or package. I always appreciate gifts and never re-gift them (and make it look as though I bought it). If I do give something away, the person receiving it will usually know that it belonged to me and have no qualms about taking it off my hands.

Anyway, I was browsing through iVillage.com and found an article about Worst Mother In-Law Gifts... Ever! I thought about the gifts I received from my late mother-in-law and I have to say that she gave very good gifts over the years. She knew what I liked and made an effort to shop for them. Whenever I visited her, she always had books to give away and I would gladly accept them. In short, I cannot think of anything that I ever got from her that I did not like.

Now, reading the list that I found on iVillage, it made me wonder if those mothers-in-law did it deliberately to irritate their daughters-in-law or just had poor taste. Here are some comments from the daughters-in-law:

1. MIL once got me a matching set: Oven mitt and makeup bag. So whenever I'm simultaneously applying lipstick and removing a roast from the oven, I can be color-coordinated.

2. My worst gift ever was from 18 years ago, when, for my first Christmas married to her son, MIL gave me a pair of crotchless panties and a matching bra. I just 'bout died...

3. A set of coat hangers that MIL got half price from a jumble sale.

4. MIL got me pre-natal vitamins for my stocking — and [her son and I] weren't even married yet.

5. My MIL gave me a horrible fake-lace scratchy thong, three sizes too small.

6. My MIL once bought me a T-shirt for Christmas that had a really tacky screen print of two wolves howling on it. Not only was it huge, but it had this weird little button sewn in, so that if you squeezed a certain spot on the front of the shirt, it would play a recording of wolves howling.

7. MIL gave me a leather-bound address book... complete with the names and addresses of people I didn't know! Did she forget she had used it before?

8. My MIL drew my name for Christmas one year. I got a Swiffer, shampoo and conditioner. I was trying to figure out if she was implying that both my hair and floors are dirty, or what.

9. One year, my MIL built her gift up for weeks: She had gotten me the perfect gift, couldn't wait to see my face when I opened it, she knew it was just what I wanted, etc. So she gives it to me on Christmas day in front of her entire family of 50 people... and it's a vacuum cleaner. She announces loudly, "I know you really needed that because the one you have just isn't getting all the cat hair up off your couch." Needless to say I was beyond mortified!

10. I have a small tattoo of a ladybug on my shoulder. My MIL saw this and ever since, has given me tons of ladybug stuff. So far, my collection includes six ladybug lapel pins, four pairs of earrings, one bedspread/sham combo, two toe rings, three embroidered sweaters and a shower curtain. The last time I saw her in July, she remarked "I didn't know you had a ladybug tattoo! You must really like them!" I have told her (and my husband) that I don't really like ladybugs as much as she thinks. Still, she told my husband this weekend that she found a cute ladybug jumper dress for me for Christmas. Aah!

Have you ever received a gift you never liked? Never mind the mother-in-law gifts. Let's just share about any gift that you received in your life.

To date, I can think of only one thing that I did not like - a handbag. I tried to exchange it with my sister because she had the prettier one but no luck. She did not like mine either! It still sits in one of my boxes in Klang. I will probably appreciate it the next time I lay my eyes on it. It is not ugly but it paled in comparison to my sister's bag. Maybe I wouldn't have a problem with it if I did not have another bag to compare it with. Yeah! that's it.

Considering that was the only gift which I did not like in 40 years (as far as I can remember), I think that isn't bad at all. I am still treasuring it - not thrown or given away.

Boxed Memories

When I was home in Malaysia earlier this year, I had to clear out my old room. The room where I spent endless hours composing poems till the wee hours of the morning. The special space where I wrote letters to friends and relatives. A domain where secrets were shared with my sister and girlfriends.

As I went through old albums, memories of old came flooding in. A nostalgic feeling washed over me. My albums told many stories – from childhood to adulthood. I could not bring back those albums with me. They were just too heavy. My brother promised to keep them – two boxes full of pictorial family and personal history.

The ones that I did manage to take with me were extra copies I found lying around. They include some photos from my parents' collection.

Wedding photo of dad & mom (1959)
(L-R:) Bertha Minjoot-Rozario, Jack Santa Maria, Ira Tegjeu, Dad & Mom, Olive Santa Maria, George Tegjeu, Charles Carvalho.

The day my sister was baptised at Our Lady of Fatima Church, Kota Bharu, Kelantan (1972)

When I was done with the albums, I moved on to a box of old letters and cards. I had to decide which to keep and which to throw. A job which should have taken me two hours to complete went on for five hours. They were just old birthday cards from friends and relatives. I had to be practical and toss some out. I did, however, retain only one card from each relative that has passed away - from both sets of grandparents, uncles and aunties.

Maternal grandparents at The National Museum, Kuala Lumpur (year unknown)

Then, there were old letters from friends. The contents of those correspondences were just ramblings of our daily lives – thoughts of confused teenagers and later, young adults waiting to conquer the world. I read them once again before throwing them out. I smiled and chuckled at the mindset we had those days.

New Year's Eve 1993

Pan Pacific Singapore - Apr. 1995

Finally, I came across a box that was filled with letters, cards, postcards, printed e-mails and gifts from my other half. It was so good to read all those love notes once again. It brought back memories of our courtship days. Time has flown by so fast. This is the man who flew from the States to Malaysia every year, for three consecutive years, to see me. The very same man who now gives excuses not to drive 30 minutes down the road to WalMart. This man, the one who impressed my mom in the kitchen by cooking a butter shrimp dish - the same one who now says opening a can of chicken noodle soup is the best that he can do. Ah! but he remains the ever loving life partner and provider of our home.

Anyway, I could not throw away anything that he sent me over the years except some old computer software that came on 3.5-inch floppy disk. So, I bundled up everything that I wanted to save and brought them back with me. They now sit in a box in my bedroom closet. Someday I will re-open that box and reminisce the yesteryears. The years when I was young.

Tagged - All Things Five

Another tag, another reason to blog. This time I was tagged by Nightwing of Carpe Diem.

Here is the tag :- Ten Questions. These are the rules :-

Five answers to each question and then tag five others.

Instructions :- Remove the first Blog and add your own blog last.

simply888here; cat cat; Puteri's Musings 3, Carpe Diem, Jacqui's Curve

Well, let's get right to it now ....

Q1. What were you doing 10 Years ago?

1. Being single.

2. Working in Kuala Lumpur in an I.T. recruitment company.

3. Contemplating if I should purchase a cell phone. (it was huge and heavy compared to my current phone).

4. Became an aunt for the first time.

5. Attending way too many weddings of relatives and friends. I got a little tired of "Aunty Kaypoh" asking me when was my turn.

Q2. What were you doing 1 Year ago?

1. Married and living overseas (Aunty Kaypoh finally shut up - maybe due to distance and my lack of attendance at family gatherings).

2. Holidaying in Malaysia and eating lots of satay and other local delicacies.

3. Getting too many headaches with excessive cross stitching. Contemplated taking a break.

4. Contemplated starting a blog. Procrastinated.

5. Resumed cross stitching! :)

Q3. What are 5 snacks you enjoy?

1. Dark chocolate

2. Fruits

3. Potato Chips

4. Cookies

5. Dried cuttlefish (with sugar)

Q4. What are 5 songs you know the lyrics to?

1. I'll Never Love This Way Again - Dionne Warwick

2. Paper Roses - Marie Osmond

3. Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynette

4. Sometimes When We Touch - Dan Hill

5. Twilight Time - The Platters

Q5. 5 things you would do if you are a Millionaire?

1. Buy a house by a beach, near a big city (I need both attractions)

2. Sponsor my niece's and nephew's education

3. Travel the world

4. Donate to charities

5. Open centres for troubled teenagers and abused women

Q6. 5 Bad habits?

1. Too hasty, at times (don't like some issues hanging over me for too long)

2. Restless (get bored when there is nothing interesting going on)

3. Being a fashion police (but will not say anything because not everyone wants to hear unsolicited advice). So, I just share it with whoever I am with about the person who is in fashion violation. :)

4. Forgetting to eat when something takes up my time (suffer with gastric and headache after that)

5. Procrastinate, at times (especially housework)

Q7. 5 things you like to do?

1. Reading

2. Travelling

3. Playing musical keyboard

4. Learning new languages

5. Sewing/Cross Stitching

Q8. 5 Favourite Toys?

1. Laptop

2. Musical keyboard

3. Big screen TV

4. Wireless Skype phone

5. Camera

Q9. 5 things you would never wear?

1. Thongs (underwear and footwear) - cannot stand the "in between" feeling

2. Bikini - never have, never will

3. Heavy makeup - unless I want to look like a drag queen.

4. Very high heels that hurt my back and feet - vanity has its limits.

5. Very short skirts or very low-cut tops - "excuse me, my eyes are up here."

Q10. 5 things you hate to do? (but sometimes it just can't be helped)

1. Pick up dog-poo!

2. Ironing clothes (the thought of it is daunting but once I start, it is not too bad)

3. Housework (I'll dust only if I must)

4. Living far away from big cities - hate the long drives just for running errands. (holiday drive is different)

5. Living in a place where there is no public transport

I now tag:

I am supposed to tag five people and I have them in mind but I am not sure if they will be willing to do it. So, I will leave it open.

If you like to do this, let me know and I will update this part to include your name. :)

Update - I now tag:

1. Angel Eyes

2. Ruby Ahmad

3. Rashikaps

The Day He Came To Town

Do you recognise him? Do you watch CSI: New York? Yes, that guy. Gary Sinise. He also plays in a band called Lt. Dan Band.

This was as close as I could get to take Gary Sinise's photo.

(From Wikipedia) - The Lt. Dan Band is a cover band founded by Kimo Williams and Gary Sinise. The band is named after the character Lieutenant Dan Taylor, whom Sinise portrayed in the film Forrest Gump. Sinise has said in interviews that many people know him by sight as "Lieutenant Dan" rather than by his real name.

Since 2003 the band has been performing for charities and non-profit organizations including the USO and Operation Iraqi Children. They frequently visit military bases in the United States and abroad.

I was abroad - in Germany - when Gary Sinise and his band made an appearance at the army base where we belonged to. The concert lasted for two hours and they played songs from all decades (1940s to contemporary pop). The band was entertaining and Mr Sinise chatted with the crowd in between breaks. When the band performed the "Conga" song, the members encouraged the crowd to form a conga line - a very long line. (No, I did not join in - too shy). It was a good concert - a private one for about 300 soldiers, civilians, contractors and their families.

It is interesting to note that Gary Sinise is a co-creator of Operation Iraqi Children.

(From Wikipedia) - Operation Iraqi Children is a charitable program created by actor Gary Sinise and author Laura Hillenbrand to send school supplies to Iraqi children. OIC is a program functioning in partnership under People to People International (PTPI), an NGO with a U.S., not-for-profit [501(c)(3)] tax rating. The executive committee is comprised of Sinise, Hillenbrand and PTPI's President and CEO, Mary Eisenhower.

OIC has expanded its outreach program to children in Afghanistan, and children in the United States who were adversely affected by Hurricane Katrina. In recognition of their efforts, OIC was voted “Best Bridge Builder” of 2006 by Reader’s Digest Magazine and has received an official letter of endorsement from the White House.

US soldiers distribute the supplies during the off-duty hours.

Since I did not live in the vicinity where there was a possibility of celebrity sightings (and I still don't), attending that concert for free was a rare treat.

By the way, if you are a CSI fan, which CSI do you like best?

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

How do we know when we have really grown up? Upon graduation? Moving away from parents' home? Our first job? Our first boy-girl relationship? First car? First home? First marriage?

I say, "age is just a number". Attaining the age of adulthood does not mean that one is mature. It is the accumulation of life experiences. There will come a time (or for some of us, time arrived some years back) when we will feel that we are all grown up.

By the way, if you are still clueless about it (just in case your mind is telling you that you are still young), here are some ways to tell you're grown up:

* Note: This was sent to me via e-mail today. It is too good to let go.

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Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to take a nap before bedtime. I have to wake up at 6:00 o'clock tomorrow morning. Thank goodness we live in a quiet neighbourhood or I would have the police on speed dial. :)

My Juvenile Week

Children amuse and amaze me (as I have mentioned this before). In one of the last weeks of my stay in Germany, I volunteered to help out at a children's camp, called the Vacation Bible School.

Vacation Bible School, or VBS for short, is the term for a special type of religious education which caters toward children, usually during the summer. For more information on this, read here. It gives an overview of the program.

This year's theme was the wild west and the camp was called Avalanche Ranch. Children were given bandanas and were encouraged to come dressed in their boots and western hats (if they owned any). Some of them were so cute, they looked like little cowboys and cowgirls.

Anyway, I was put in charge of crafts and missions station. I figured, at least on my part, there would be less teaching and more fun playing with the kids (still a child at heart). The daily lesson was introduced at the start of each new day and the children were reminded of the daily message at every station.

Stringing beads to their Buddy Bags on the first day.

Making personal prayer journals on the second day.

Stuffing felt bears, called Prayer Bears, on the third day. This was the day, they also learned about giving away something to the less fortunate. They made two cuddly bears - one to give to a child in Africa and one to keep for themselves.

At this point, I have to mention that when I went around the table to ask them individually if they were ready to give up a bear, most of them readily said "OK". A couple of them said that the bears were too cute to part with but they understood why they were giving it away. They were instructed to write their names on a tag and insert it in a pocket at the back of the bear. The older children wrote personal messages. The ones that stood out for me were "To God's child with love" and "God loves you".

Decorating boot-shaped bird feeders. Notice by the fourth day, the table had too many scribbles. Put coloured markers and children ... and we get "works of art" everywhere!

Unfortunately, I did not get to take any pictures on the fifth day. It was sand art day. My team and I spent most of the time, dusting off sand from the table to get it ready before the next group walked in. We had five groups per day. They were grouped according to their ages.

This pre-school kid refused to leave his daddy when he was dropped off on the last day. His group leader tried to coax him but he kept hanging on. After I took their picture, I moved away (hoping that might help). A few minutes later, I saw his daddy leave. Yay!

It was a tiring but fun week. I love working with children. I will do this again next summer if the local church offers it.