Slowing down

Time is flying by so fast. By the time I am done with what I had set out to do for the day, I am tired and can hardly sit up to blog or blog hop. If I have been absent in your blog for a while, please excuse me. Also, I used to be very prompt with replying emails and now I feel bad that I have slacked in that department too.

Sometimes I wish I knew what to blog about but it is just not clicking 'up there'. I have told myself in the past that I will not stress myself about it. So, until I can find a routine and divide my time equally with everything I wish to accomplish in a day (and have an idea of what to write), I will blog when time permits.

In the meantime, here's something for you (and a gentle reminder to some thoughtful friends of ours that if they have to forward good stuff, please send something new) ;) ......

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Dear All,

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program .....

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a someone along to watch the car to prevent a serial killer crawling into the back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda ,Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large seagull with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 mangy camels will infest your backside, causing you to grow a hairy lump. I know this will occur, because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist, after a lengthy study, has discovered ,that people with high but low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity, always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. (Now's that a good one.)

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... And hopefully, I will come up with something new (and original) to blog about soon (and cease sharing stuff from my email archives!).

Computer terms

Memory was something you lost with age
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano
A web was a spider's home
A virus was the flu
A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And if you had a 3 inch floppy
. . You just hoped nobody ever found out!?!

* This was sent to me today via email.

It is pouring cats and dogs right now. In fact, I have one sitting on my lap as I type this - my miniature Pinscher named Peanut (he did not fall from the sky). We adopted him two months ago. His previous home was the dog pound in Shreveport, Louisiana. The day he came home with us, he assumed the couch as his throne (that's OK. It is an old couch and he can have it). He thinks he is king of the hill but, to us, he is just one spoilt prince who sleeps with his toy squirrel.

I have not heard any thundering or seen flashes in the sky but I am not going to hold my breath for a spectacular show. If it does begin, I will have a dog that barks at mother nature for causing a scene. That will also prompt me to shut down my computer (I do not like to use it when there is a storm going on).

Anyway, back to the topic of computer terms. I recall one time when my computer needed some repair and upgrade. The technician said he would drop by the house to pick it up. While I was at work (in KL), my mom telephoned to inform me that Leong (the technician) came by the house a few minutes earlier and took the computer with him. She added that he also took the rat. I was shocked and then got a little confused. I thought to myself, "What has a rat got to do with the technician? Did she change topic already?"

I asked her "what rat?" I went on to wonder if a disgusting creature found its way into my room from outside and that the technician had helped her remove a dead rat ('kaput' probably from eating the poison we placed around the house).

She said, "that thing you use with the computer."

Ah! then something clicked. "You mean the mouse."

Mom burst out laughing and said "aiya ... mouse or rat, both the same."

Schools - Then and Now

This is the message that apparently a Secondary School staff in the Midlands voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school. It came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are now being threatened with legal action by some parents who want their children's failing marks changed to passing marks - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the term and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their various key stages.

The message:

'Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right member of staff, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

* To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work - Press 2

* To complain about what we do - Press 3

* To swear at staff members - Press 4

* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your Newsletter and several letters posted to you - Press 5

* If you want us to bring up your child - Press 6

* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

* To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8

* To complain about bus transport - Press 9

* To complain about school lunches - Press 0

LASTLY:

* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a really wonderful day.

* If you want this in other languages, you must be in the wrong country. This is England.

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Unfortunately, that is what our we have come to these days. There are some dedicated teachers out there and sometimes they are the ones who get into trouble for caring for their students. They are blamed for things that are beyond their control. While there are exceptions (every now and then you may get a teacher who just does not live up to your expectations as an educator), I believe there many more teachers who go the extra mile for their students. Their undying dedication is so often overlooked.

By the way, I have noticed how student problems are dealt with in school these days too. Well, at least in the States. We have certainly come a long way from our simpler days. MsJ of Inconditus sent me this article last week which illustrates what I mean. It is funny but sadly true to some extent. The age of innocence and simplicity is gone.

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Subject: School 1967 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail; nobody is arrested; nobody is expelled.
2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a learning disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1967 - Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1967 - Ants die.
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco a and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Heather. Heather hugs him to comfort him.

1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Heather is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

Tagged - Favourite Foods

Zawi of Life As I See It has tagged me. It is a Ramadhan Tag about food. He commented in his blog that even though this is a Ramadhan tag, he thinks non-muslims can be tagged too since they too form a sizable group of customers at Ramadhan bazaars. It has nothing really to do with religion, just the food. How true!

I was in Malaysia during Ramadhan last year and boy! was I glad to be home then. I visited the bazaars and filled up on foods which I missed since leaving Malaysia.

Taking an evening stroll with my brother through those bazaars made me miss my mom even more. For as long as I can remember, she looked forward to the Ramadhan months. She loved food - all kinds of food. She especially loved Malay cakes. Whenever she telephoned me during the fasting month, she always reminded me of the days when we used to load up on the goodies from the bazaars. That is when I start craving badly for local delicacies all over again.

So, here goes ....

NAME 5 FAVOURITE FOOD THAT YOU FEEL LIKE HAVING NOW

1. Satay

2. Ayam percik

3. Nasi kerabu

4. Roti tisu

5. Mee jawa or bandung

NAME 5 FOOD YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE FOR BREAKFAST IF YOU COULD

1. Chicken pau

2. Pulut hitam

3. Pulut panggang

4. Durian in santan (coconut milk)

5. Pulut inti

NAME 5 FOOD YOU WOULD MOST LIKELY BUY FOR BERBUKA TODAY
(If I were in Malaysia today, this what I would likely buy for dinner)

1. Ayam percik

2. Tepung pelita (is this the same thing as kueh tako?)

3. Coconut jelly

4. Roti jala and rendang

5. Fried popiah

NAME 5 FAVORITE BEVERAGES YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE FOR BERBUKA OR SUPPER TODAY

1. Coconut water

2. Soya bean milk (and some curd to go with it)

3. Iced tea

I cannot think of any beverages that I would like today but ice kacang dessert sounds good right now. (Lady Patsy made me think about it for days since she spoke so passionately about it in her previous post).

This is only just a sampling of what I would really like but I know once I am in Malaysia and I see the varieties, some of my choices may change. Right now, it is a case of "out of sight, out of mind".

Before I end this, here's wishing all my muslim friends and bloggers Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

Hello Halloween

I just could not believe my eyes the other as I walked through a WalMart store. They have started selling Christmas decorations! We are barely into the first week of October. Heck! Halloween is not even here yet, and that is considered a big deal in the States. Stores seem to bring out all things Christmas earlier and earlier as the years go by. I won't be surprised if I see elves running around the stores in June someday!

Anyway, I am not going to talk about Christmas in this post. We still have two more months to get to that holiday. Let's talk about Halloween, which is pretty much foreign in Malaysia. What is Halloween?

Each year, on the last night of October, millions of children across the U.S dress-up in costume and take to the streets for a spooky dose of Trick or Treat fun. But how much do you really know about this haunted holiday? Explore this site to find out the true history!

Halloween's origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in).

The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom, and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.

To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities.

During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other's fortunes. When the celebration was over, they re-lit their hearth fires, which they had extinguished earlier that evening, from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.

By A.D. 43, Romans had conquered the majority of Celtic territory. In the course of the four hundred years that they ruled the Celtic lands, two festivals of Roman origin were combined with the traditional Celtic celebration of Samhain.

The first was Feralia, a day in late October when the Romans traditionally commemorated the passing of the dead. The second was a day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple and the incorporation of this celebration into Samhain probably explains the tradition of "bobbing" for apples that is practiced today on Halloween.

By the 800s, the influence of Christianity had spread into Celtic lands. In the seventh century, Pope Boniface IV designated November 1 All Saints' Day, a time to honor saints and martyrs. It is widely believed today that the pope was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday. The celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints' Day) and the night before it, the night of Samhain, began to be called All-hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween. Even later, in A.D. 1000, the church would make November 2 All Souls' Day, a day to honor the dead. It was celebrated similarly to Samhain, with big bonfires, parades, and dressing up in costumes as saints, angels, and devils. Together, the three celebrations, the eve of All Saints', All Saints', and All Souls', were called Hallowmas.

There is more to the history of Halloween but there is too much to copy and paste over here. So, if you are interested to know more, you can read about the modern traditions here and the Evolution of the Holiday here.

Back to my browsing at the store, I now realise that I can shop for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas in October. I am not sure if I can get excited about it. I don't even know what I am going to cook tomorrow, how will I know what I need for Thanksgiving or Christmas?

By the way, I don't celebrate Halloween because there is no reason to. I have never been invited to a Halloween costume party. I did join some friends in an evening barbeque party, though. It was about two years ago on an army base in Germany. I must admit that it was nice to watch the children get all dressed up and ready to raid the neighbourhood's candy supply. When my friend took her children around the neighbourhood, she left me in charge of her bowls of chocolates, sweets and bubble gum. I was supposed to distribute them whenever children came knocking on the door. Usually, there are no questions asked when the children scream "trick or treat?" It is understood that they will get their treat - candies. I was so tempted to ruffle some feathers and challenge them to a trick. I decided against it lest I be known as the mean lady who made the children perform tricks.

It was interesting to note that there were a couple of young parents who seemed very excited about collecting candies for their infant and toddler children. I wonder who got hyperactive on sugar that night.

Last week, I almost drove off the road as I was making a right turn into my street. One of the houses on the corner has hung a mannequin, dressed up like a pontianak, from their huge oak tree. (I think the western people have their version of a pontianak called a banshee). They have ghostly decorations on their fence too. Their place seems so spooky in a heavily shaded lawn. It makes me wonder if it is not haunted already! One thing I know ... I will not to look their way if I ever have to drive past their house at night. I am afraid that pontianak might actually smile back at me.

I am not sure what we will be doing this Halloween. We live out in the countryside and the only children that I see in this area live across the street - two boys, aged 5 and 1. I suspect that they will be the only ones working our street with their parents. I guess I will stock up on some chocolate bars just in case they come a knockin' on my door. If they don't, more chocolates for me!