Busy Buzzing Bees

Though I said I was going on a short break from blogging, I felt a little recharged today. A good workout at the gym must have done the trick. So, I decided to share something I read. Note that this is a break from the brief break i.e. mind still not functioning as it should.

Anyway, while I was on the treadmill brisk-walking to nowhere, I kept myself occupied with the magazine, Discover. A magazine which covers science, technology and the future. There were too many heavy articles for me to comprehend while walking up an imaginary hill. Skipped those. Then I came across an article - "How people will die in the year 2030?". Skipped that. Not when I am on the treadmill!

Finally, an interesting article written by Liza Lentini - on the last page of the magazine.

20 Things you didn't know about Bees:

1. There are 16,000 species. Most are solitary insects; only about 5 percent are social bees, the most common being the honey bee. As many as 80,000 of them colonise a single hive. And we complain about needing our space!

2. Drones - the male honeybees- live only for mating with the queen. If there is a shortage of food in the hive, the workers kick their lazy, gigolo asses out. hmmm.. wonder if that happens with humans - when a woman gets tired of her toyboy.

3. To die for: When drones mate, they die afterwards from a ruptured abdomen. Sex detaches their endophallus, which gets stuck inside the queen. OUCH!

4. She continues to mate - the drones aren't terribly smart, apparently - until she collects more than 70 million sperm from multiple males. Better not say anything. I might get cyber-eggs thrown at me.

5. The queen was known as the king until the late 1660s, when Dutch scientist Jan Swammerdam dissected the hive's big bee and discovered ovaries. So typical... they assume they rule. :)

6. Someone call Homeland Security! Australian researchers discovered that honeybees can distinguish human faces. The insects were shown black-and-white pictures and given treats for right answers. Maybe we should have honeybees working at our immigration.

7. Oh, someone did call Homeland Security. In the Stealthy Insect Sensor Project, Los Alamos scientists have trained bees to recognise explosives. Could we use these bees for Altantuya's case?

8. The term "honeymoon" is derived from an old northern European custom in which newlyweds would consume a daily cup of mead, made with fermented honey, for a month.

9. The term "bees knees" was coined by American cartoonist Tad Dorgan, who was also responsible for "the cat's pajamas", "the flea's eyebrows," "the canary's tusks," and (apropos of nothing) "Yes, we have no bananas."

10. During World War 1, honey was used to treat the wounds of soldiers because it attracts and absorbs moisture, making it a valuable healing agent. The next time you have an injury in the kitchen, just reach for your bottle of honey. While you are doing that, go ahead and prepare a cup of hot tea with a dollop of honey.

11. Honey never spoils. Ever. So that dusty honey bottle sitting on a shelf at your local sundry shop could be 10 years old.

12. Bumblebees can estimate time intervals. Researchers have found that the insects extend their tongues in tandem with the rhythm of a sweet reward. This aids in the hunt for nectar, whose availability waxes and wanes. No comment ... ;)

13. Melittosphex burmensis, recently found preserved in amber in a mine in northern Myanmar, is the oldest bee known. It lived 100 million years ago. Now the question is.. male or female?

14. After he had pioneered the laws of genetics with pea plants, Austrian monk Grego Mendel bred a strain of hybrid bees. Unfortunately, they were so vicious he had to kill them. awww...

15. The buzz that you hear when a bee approaches is the sound of its four wings moving at 11,400 strokes per minute. Bees fly an average of 15 miles per hour. I wonder if "auntie kaypoh" has the same ability. She seems to be everywhere within seconds with news about so-and-so.

16. A newly hatched queen immediately kills all other hatched and unhatched queens in the hive. whoa! the ultimate bitchiness. I wonder if that happens in the corporate world. hmmm..

17. The Honeybee Boogie: In 1943 Austrian zoologist Karl von Frisch published his study on the dances bees perform to alert fellow workers. A round dance indicates that food is close by; a waggle dance means it is distant.

18. Worker bees have strictly regimented roles, including that of undertakers who drag their dead siblings from the hive. Sounds like a government I know.

19. On the April 1984 Challenger flight, 3,300 bees, housed in a special but confining box, adapted perfectly to zero gravity and built a nearly normal comb. But they didn't go to the toilet. Since bees excrete only outside the hive, they held it in for seven days. A NASA spokesperson said the space hive was "just as clean as a pin." I wonder if our two space-bound fellows will be able to emulate the bees. Tell them to stay away from anything spicy. Trying to undo that space suit after a good hot and spicy meal will be challenging.

20. According to an old wives' tale, a bee entering your house means a visitor is on his way, and if you kill the bee, the visitor won't be a pleasant one. Suffice to say, invite that unexpected honeybee guest to sit down to tea. If I get word that the visitor is George Clooney or Colin Farrell, then I will capture the bee and put it in a ventilated bottle. ;)

Weekend Ramblings

The light bulb in my head is flickering. I have been feeling drained lately. Soon, I may not be able to update my blog as often as I would like to until some things get settled. There may be some occasional breaks but I will definitely still be around. Most probably just blog-hopping.

In the meantime, here's something for the weekend:

************************************************************************

Mouse Balls

I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real memo sent out by IBM to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences.

"If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.

Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items. Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer."

***************************************************************************

How to solve a mid-life crisis?

When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blond. Now we have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a plasma screen TV but I'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old blond and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.

Choices in Life

Recently, someone challenged me on one particular quality which I am very sure I possess. I was told that I am not ambitious. How did he come to that conclusion? I told him he obviously did not know me. For as long as I have known myself, I have always set goals and achieved it. I wished to know why he said it because if that statement was warranted, I could learn from it. No reason was given and he changed the subject.

I started thinking what did he see that made it look like I had no ambition in life? Is it because I am a housewife thus I have become complacent? Is it because I am not pursuing a degree or a job at this time so I come off as a person with no goals? I told myself, "Goals - I have plenty. I am working towards one as we speak. However, some other things are not possible right now. I will know when the time is right."

Then I thought, "I do not need to justify my situation. I can't change his perception of me as long as he wants to hold on to that view. "

After all, there is a nagging feeling at the back of my mind, that maybe, just maybe, he was just projecting his own feelings of inadequacy onto me. Like someone wise once said - "When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself." ~Wayne Dyer (Psychotherapist, Author and Speaker)

But then again, I could be wrong ;)

However, I know I am not wrong when I hold on to Eleanor Roosevelt's words as my motto - "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".

This piece of story below is a gentle reminder about the choices I have when dealing with something unpleasant, like a bad day. As they say, you can choose to swim or choose to sink...

***************************************************************************

Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant. Why? Because Jerry was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood.

I always choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life."

"But it's not always that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said.

"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how you live your life."

Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business. He left the back door of his restaurant open.

In the morning, he was robbed by three armed men. While Jerry trying to open the safe box, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied.

"Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry.

"She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes', I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!'

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead".

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours -- that no one can control or take from you - is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

Murphy's Laws of Work

Monday - the beginning of the work week (in most places). The alarm clock rings in the morning. I reach for it to push the snooze button. I tell myself, "please, a few more minutes." It rings again. I go "arggghh...not again." I wake up and drag myself to the bathroom and get ready to face a new week. It is so hard to adjust to a Monday but once the day starts (typically, after lunch!), I am on the roll. Come what may. (I recover faster than Snoopy)



When I worked in Malaysia in the 90s, I used to commute between Klang and KL. I definitely don't miss it. Waking up at an unearthly hour just to catch the 6:20am bus (then the train from mid-90s) drained me after half a decade. However, I do miss the buzz that came with working in the Golden Triangle. I loved the city life. I used to look forward to lunch - varieties to be tried and tested. From the mamak stall to the food courts. From sandwich joints to western restaurants. Some days, my lunch consisted of just fruits and a sandwich in the office. Other days, when I felt like treating myself, I will end up in Chilli's (or an equivalent) with my trusted companion - a book. I enjoyed my work too, challenges and all.

Now, there are some things that happen in a work place, I think, that is quite universal. The axiom of anything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong holds true. It is called the Murphy's Laws of Work. Below are some of them which may sound familiar to you. I got these from a website containing the largest collection of humour online.

1. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

2. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

3. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

4. Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.

5. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

6. Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in a hard days work.

7. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

8. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.

9. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

10. The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.

11. There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

12. The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization. (For instance, The Murphy Center for Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted to IBM, GM, AT&T ...).

13. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

14. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk. (e.g. blogging? )

15. People are always available for work in the past tense.

16. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

17. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

18. The longer the title, the less important the job.

19. Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

20. All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own.

Oh yeah, another thing - ever notice that no one gets sick on Wednesdays.

For more, go here.

One last word. If you have to give an excuse to get away from work, make sure the excuse works. Don't get caught like this guy:


"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.

Happy Father's Day

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.

************************************************************************

Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.

Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

************************************************************************

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL MEN ...

everywhere!