Tagged - Blonde Bimbo Moments

I have been tagged by Typhoon Sue to reveal my blonde, bimbo moments. Actually, I find it a little unfair to stereotype blondes as bimbos. I have met many smart blonde-haired individuals. Whoever who came up with that term obviously had some hard luck being in the company of blondes who did not have anything going on up there. I will try to ignore that for now and just play the game.

I tried to recall moments that made me feel foolish or inept. I know I had quite a few starting from my teen years but these stand out:

Moment No. 1 - Screening calls for mom

This happened many, many years ago. Mom was not in the mood to chat with anyone on the phone. She wanted some rest. It was a quiet afternoon - perfect time for relaxing. When the phone rang, she asked me to find out first who it was. She never turned down outstation calls from relatives. It turned out to be a distant relative. I was not sure if she wanted to take this call or not. So, I said, "Hold on, let me see if she is at home. I just walked in the house and have not seen her yet."

I asked mom if she wanted to talk to that person. Mom figured she was trying to sell something based on their previous conversation. She told me to say that she is not at home and will call the relative another day. Just at that moment, my brain did not want to cooperate with me. I conveyed the message - "Mom says she is not at home .... (at this point my mom slapped her forehead and I realised what I said). Err.. I mean mom is not around. I will ask her to call you back." I put down the phone and mom and I had a good laugh. I am sure that relative knew.

Moment No. 2 - The unrecognisable swimming instructor
(mentioned in an earlier post)

My colleagues and I were taking up swimming lessons at that pool in Jalan Raja Chulan, Kuala Lumpur. Our coach was a young guy named Saad, who preferred to be called James (I don't know why, don't ask me) . For our first lesson, we met James at the pool at opening time - 5:30pm, I think. He signed us in.

After our first lesson was over, James asked us if we could come in at 5:00pm for the next eight weeks. We agreed. I figured that would be good just in case any of us drowned, we won't have a public spectacle. James told us that he would bring our membership cards to our office before the next lesson. These cards will ensure entry to the pool before opening hours.

One day, the receptionist buzzed me and said there was a guy waiting to see me. I wondered who could it be because I was not expecting anyone to drop by. I forgot all about the membership cards. I went out the reception area. I could not make out where I saw this guy but he looked so familiar. I asked him, "May I help you?"

He said, "Jacqui, it's me James." I then realised who he was as he handed me four cards. Feeling a little embarassed about not recognising him, I had to apologise. I said, "Oh my! I am so sorry James. I did not recognise you with your clothes on." (Needless to say, James blushed and I was totally embarassed).

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I could try to remember more to share but then I won't be able to publish this post tonight. Also, I am 13 hours behind Malaysia now, I wanted to get this out before the long holiday weekend sets in.

Here's wishing my fellow Malaysians, A Happy Merdeka Day. May our leaders have less blonde, bimbo moments. :D

New beginnings

My partial hiatus is almost coming to an end. August has been a crazy month due to so many activities on my plate. Mostly because I was preparing to leave Germany. I could neither blog nor blog-hop as much as I wanted to because I was busy sorting out and packing up our stuff.

Apart from that, I was busy volunteering at a five-day children's camp at a military base chapel and attending several courses prior to that camp. I will write about that in the coming week. I am now sitting in the good old U.S. of A. - relieved that we arrived safely and back in our comfortable home. A new beginning for us.

With this new beginning, I have decided to give my blog a new look. In a way, it also marks my fifth month in the blogosphere.

As soon as I get settled, I will return to regular blogging again. In the meantime, here's something I have always enjoyed reading (this was circulated some years back).

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JOHN CLEESE'S LETTER TO AMERICA

To the citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.'

Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You will relearn your original national anthem,"God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task #1(see above).

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called "Come-Uppance Day."

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to
handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline") - roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar.

10. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American "football." There is only one kind of proper football; you call it "soccer." Those of you brave enough will, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the "World Series" for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due backdated to 1776.

Thank you for your co-operation.

John Cleese

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Animation Time

These animations and its creator were first brought to my attention by my cousin, Melissa.

Alan Becker, who recently graduated from high school, is the creator of the animations in this post. You can read more about him at his website. Now, let's just get to the good stuff.

Here are a couple of his creations:

Animator vs. Animation

Artist's Comments

An animator faces his own animation in deadly combat. The battlefield? The Flash interface itself. A stick figure is created by an animator with the intent to torture. The stick figure drawn by the animator will be using everything he can find - the brush tool, the eraser tool - to get back at his tormentor. It's resourcefulness versus power. Who will win? You can find out yourself.

-- This took three long months.. i think it's worth it.



Animator vs. Animation by *alanbecker on deviantART


Animator vs. Animation II

Artist's Comments

The animator, looking for a challenge, decides to make the stick figure harder to beat. Little does he know exactly how much power he is giving to the little guy. Long live The Chosen One!

This took me five months.

It recently ranked in the top 25 of the Ohio Governor's Show!


Animator vs. Animation II by *alanbecker on deviantART


Note: I am still on a partial hiatus. I will update my blog as soon as I can. Thanks for visiting.

Partial Hiatus

I anticipate another three weeks of activities which may take me away from blogging and blog-hopping. I may not be able to do it as much as before but will do so when I get a chance. Please bear with me.

Thank you, my dear friends.

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I Like Your Thinking

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

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U.S. President George Bush's recently underwent a routine colon examination (Washington Post). CNN reported that the doctors found 5 polyps from the President's colon.

Anyway, colonoscopies are no joke but these comments during the exam were quite humorous. Remember colonoscopy patients have sedatives in their systems. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

10. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

11. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

12 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not upthere?'

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What would you like do next?

I was browsing around the web for inspiration and found an article on iVillage about "Things We Want to Do Next".

"What's the next talent you'd like to acquire, the next skill you'd like to master? Did you always want to learn how to sail, or golf like a pro? Do you want to learn to bake like a French pastry chef?"

For as long as I can remember, I have always been in search of new things to learn. I used the library to read up on things I wanted to know. Before I entered into the working world, I frequented the library for recipes! Yeah, my mom wondered what got into me. I figured since I was sitting at home for a few months (freeloading), I might as well contribute to expanding our family's menu for meal times. I was also determined to try baking a cake before I turned 21 and I did. My first cake was Orange Cake. Happy to report no one died from all my experiments. yippee!

When I saw how interesting cross-stitching was, I asked my cousin to teach me. Then, as the years progressed, I bought books for more ideas.
Another area of interest is learning foreign languages. I have learned several but with anything, if there is no practice, the skill goes down the drain. I have forgotten Mandarin and Tagalog. I can only get by with "How are you?" and counting from one to ten in those languages. Could those words come in handy to save one's life?

I still have interested in learning more things. The current interests, among others, are more languages (and keeping up with it) and life-saving skills. I have completed a course (and passed the exams) in First Aid and CPR by the American Red Cross but I would like to acquire life-saving skills in the waters. To do that, I first need to venture out to the deeper side of the pool!

Enough of my ramblings. Here's the rest of the article from iVillage.

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We put the question to iVillagers: "What's the next thing you want to learn how to do?" The responses we got were amazing and inspiring — as one iVillager put it, "There are so many things I want to do, I think I'll need a few lifetimes to fulfill them all."

1. I would like to speak fluent Arabic… or at least be able to make conversation!

2. The next things I'd like to learn are how to (properly) cook Indonesian and Chinese cuisines.

3. At the moment, I'm working on developing my portrait photography skills by training and working in a portrait studio part-time. I've been doing nature photography for decades, and now I'm branching out into "people photography."

4. I would like to learn to really dance. I can wiggle my booty to rock (no skill required — LOL), but I would love to learn salsa or ballroom dancing. That would be awesome!

5. I'd love to learn to paint. Now that I work for an artist, I have a different way of looking at each canvas.

6. I would like to gain the CompTIA A+ certification. I fiddle with computers a lot, and I've even built two myself. But it would be nice to have that piece of paper that says I can do it, and I would probably learn a lot more along the way.

7. The goal that I am currently working on is finding a community of people who support one another on individual spiritual paths.

8. I'd love to learn to rock climb.

9. I want to learn how to grow an herb or vegetable garden. Or at least "grow" a green thumb, so my plants will survive my overwatering them!

10. I want to relearn math. I got myself some of those little-kid flashcards and have been working on memorizing the times tables. I'm doing pretty well… All the old noggin needs is a push!

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(Note: These wishes, from 1 to 10, were from readers at iVillage. They are interesting - I would like to learn some of them.)

So, what would you like to do next?

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live. ~Mortimer Adler

(P.S. I will be busy the whole of next week. As such, I will update my blog when the week is over.)