Lessons in Life

"As we grow up, we'll learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God."

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"Live simply". Yet it is not so simple. We are caught up in a fast-moving world that we forget how to live sometimes. A lesson I have yet to learn. However, the most valuable lesson I have gained in life is summed up below. Each time I read it, I am reminded of how people affect me and how I affect them in return.

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People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

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I am now able to identify those who have been in my life for a reason. They were there for a purpose - to help heal my broken heart, to understand why things happen in life, to inspire me. Before I understood this part of life, I used to wonder what did I do to make them stay away. What did I say? I learned that I should not read too much into why they left. I now appreciate that maybe they were there for a reason. They have helped me move on.

I have also been a reason in other people's lives. I have lost contact with them. I still think of them. I have not made an effort to reconnect with them, though. They have slipped through my fingers. I was there for a reason.

I have had many friends for a season. Among them were two best friends when I was growing up. One in primary school and the other during my teenage years. I am no longer in contact with them. They were there for a season and a reason. I could say the same thing about the men who came into my life. Some brought me joy, some heartaches. Still, lessons learned. When it comes to men, I learned that if I become too clingy, they run a million miles away! When I play hard-to-get, they leave eventually. The lesson - find a balance where they have a chance, yet not make it too easy.

As I was writing this posting, I recalled something that happened to me a few weeks back. I was feeling a little down that day. I was relieved to catch a friend on line. I thought maybe with a little chit-chat I will feel better. However, due to unavoidable circumstances, my friend had to leave. I was upset because I needed to talk to someone. I was disappointed too because I expected that friend to cheer me up. I forgot an old lesson I learned. A friend can help unload my burdens but I should not expect him/her to be responsible for my happiness. Happiness comes from within.

I always have a wish that my new friends remain with me forever. However, if they come into my life for just a season and/or a reason, I will accept it. They were God-sent for a purpose.

My lifetime relationships are with the ones who have been and are constantly in touch with me. The ones whom I love unconditionally. The ones whose needs I put before mine. I know they are there for a lifetime because we made a pact - an unspoken commitment. A bond that has been built on a solid emotional foundation. The lessons we learned from each other have made who I am today.