My Firsts - The Teenage Years

We left Kota Bharu, Kelantan in December 1979, at the end of my primary school years. My eldest brother was 14, second brother 13, and my sister, 7. We lived in Klang while dad commuted daily to his office at Bukit Aman, K.L. Mum remained a full-time mother and housewife.

Coming out to the west coast was exciting for me. Although I was missing my friends back in Kota Bharu, I was delighted with the prospect of making new friends. My brothers began their education in La Salle School, Klang while my sister and I were placed in Convent School, Klang. With this new environment, we found our new life.

The first time I received a gift from a guy - I was 13 years old. The guy was my brother's classmate and best friend, Adrian. He bought me a bow-shaped brooch and passed it to me through my brother, Derek. I was excited and surprised that Adrian remembered my birthday. I was supposed to thank Adrian for the gift but I was too shy. When Derek got him on the phone that evening, I was forced to speak to Adrian. Nervous and tongue-tied, I managed to say "Thanks for my lovely brooch." He replied "Oh, it's my pleasure. I'm glad you like it. How was your day?" I thought, "Oh my God, he wants to talk some more." I quickly ended the conversation by saying, "Oh, it was fun. Here's Derek. Thanks for the gift again. Bye." I promptly handed the phone back to brother dearest. By the way, that was also the first time I spoke to a guy on the phone.

The first time I sewed something - I was in Home Science class and had two projects to complete. One was an apron and the other a baby's dress. I still have the apron but my teacher, aptly known as Tiger Lim, took my baby dress for an exhibition and never returned it to me.

The first time I cooked something edible - I was eager to try out a recipe from Home Science class. With my aunty's help, I successfully made onde onde. That was the last time too. It was easier to buy it at the makcik's stall down the street from my house.

The first time I had a teen party at home - My parents decided to celebrate my 14th and Derek's 15th birthday together. My brother invited some of his friends from school, as I did mine. It was rather awkward for me. That was the first time we hosted a party where guys and girls could mingle together. I don't remember dancing at that party. However, I do recall two guys who were trying to get a pretty girl's attention. All three of them were in Form 4. Within a month, I heard she chose one and started dating him. They are married today with 3 children.

The first time I played the piano - I started piano lessons at 14 but did not have a piano until two months after my first lesson. While my sister and I waited for dad to buy us a piano, we kept practising on an 'invisible keyboard'. I remember being very excited when the piano finally arrived. I could finally play on real keys!

The first time I sat for music exams - It was a year later. I had finished four theory grades within 12 months. My teacher was toying with the idea of sending me for the Grade 5 level. She said that she would only do it if I am willing to cramp in a little more work in the next two months. I was game for it and registered myself for the Grade 5 Level. I passed, much to everyone's delight and shock. Oh! Thanks a lot! After that exam was over, the teacher said, "if only I could push you beyond Grade 1 for your practical." I smiled back giving her the "yeah, right!" look. She knew I was a lost cause in that department. I took my practical exams, one grade at a time, annually.

The first time I had a crush on a sportsman - He was a German hockey player, Carsten Fischer, taking part in the Junior World Cup Hockey tournament in Malaysia in 1982. Two of my classmates were equally smitten by other hockey players in the same team and we talked about our sportsmen every day until we grew tired of them.

The first time I danced with a teenage guy - It was during a Christmas Dinner & Dance at our church. I was in at my table talking to a friend when my brother's classmate (I have forgotten his name) asked me for a dance. Then song - Three Times a Lady by Lionel Richie. I was so nervous, I kept stepping on his feet! Every now and then I kept saying, "oops, sorry". I remember how awkwardly I was holding him. I was glad when the song was over. phew!

The first time I lost my identity - No, I did not lose my identity card. I lost my identity as 'Jacqui'. My brother, Derek, was gaining popularity among the senior prefects in my school. This was possible because they met Derek at a function hosted by the La Salle Prefectorial Board. One day, as I walked past a group of giggly prefects, one of them asked me, "Are you Derek's sister?" I confirmed their enquiry. Then, two of them said in unison, "Oh, your brother is so cute!" sigh..
I smiled and said, "If you say so." They never bothered to find out my name. I was known, among the prefects, as 'Derek's sister'.

The first time a guy took interest in me - I was in Form 5. The year was 1984. I took part in a fashion show organised by the church for a fund-raising function. I disliked it but was forced to participate. I felt awkward and stiff. I had to borrow a dress from my, then, best friend because I did not own something fashionable enough. It was a strappy and tight little number in leopard print Oh my God! - so not me at all!. I had to prance about stage to the song of 'Uptown Girl' by Billy Joel. I was glad when that was over. I made my way to the back of the hall. A nice-looking guy approached me. He was Daniel. We have smiled at each other many times before but we were never introduced. He complimented me on my outfit. hmmm After that introduction and a short conversation, phone numbers were exchanged. He called me at very safe times - when dad was not at home. Mum knew but kept warning me not to be on the phone too long. Daniel and I never went out anywhere together, no matter how many times he tried to convince me to 'steal away'. My parents would never have allowed it and I did nowt want to risk being caught. I told him that once I start working in January, there will be a chance to meet. I kept hoping that he would wait.

The first time my heart was broken - Daniel started dating my, then, best friend. She told me about their first date... in detail. That was January 1985. sigh..

The first time I entered the working world - It was a part time job in a legal firm while I waited for my SPM results. My pay was only RM250 a month. That wasn't too bad for an 18-year old with no work experience. I worked near The Star (newspaper) office. The bus station was around the corner. Every now and then I had to endure wolf whistles from workers down the street where construction work was going on. It bothered me a little in the beginning but I learned to ignore them over time. I figured they would get tired of seeing the same old me after a while. I did not see a point in telling my parents about it. They were informed, nevertheless. Apparently a Star reporter (whom my father knew personally) was too enthusiastic about his job. He decided to give my dad updates. I guess he was genuinely concerned.

The first time I drove a car - I was 19 and started driving lessons. I was so afraid to take the car out to the Klang-Port Klang road. When it was time to learn to drive on the main road, I told the instructor that I was afraid and preferred the back streets. He said, "Where can? sooner or later you have to start taking the main road. Your whole life you going to take back roads ah? How want to go K.L. then?" I said, "Take bus la."
I did pass my driving test that year. Eventually, I picked up the courage to drive to K.L. - four years later, during Chinese New Year week.

I landed my first full time job at 21 years old. I started working in K.L. and remained there until 1999, when I got married and left the country.

There were many firsts in my 20s, which I will reveal as time goes by. However, the precious ones like my first kiss, first love relationship, first rebound relationship (and thankfully only one) will remain with me. When I miss home or feel down, I recall some of the sweet times I've experienced as a young adult. Some moments which made me feel special and some which thought me valuable lessons. These are the memories which makes me smile in my quiet reminiscence. These belong to me.