'Rojak' mind - still at large
I am trying to work on some future postings but my brain is not cooperating with me. So, instead of pressuring myself into writing something, I will just share stuff that does not require me to think.
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Received this in an e-mail:
All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear ... and be misread.
These are not made up. Check them out yourself!
1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com
2 . Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com - This website is empty now. I tried connecting to no avail.
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com
5. There's the Italian Power Generator company, www.powergenitalia.com - This website was under construction when this posting was created.
6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales , www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com
8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is www.cummingfirst.com
9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site, www.speedofart.com
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Since I am in the state of 'rojak-ness', allow me tell you about this incident :
Tom was part of my tour group. Both of us were busy taking photos of a famous tourist spot when I suggested that he should have at least one picture taken of himself to remind him of his visit. I offered to take it for him since he was alone. He accepted. After I had taken his photo, I decided to ask if Tom could return the favour. I said to him "Since I did yours, would you mind doing me?"
*sigh*... I really should think before I speak.
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And I just received this in my email from Comedy Central
(updated on Friday, 1st June, at 9:34pm Malaysian time)
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
44 comments:
hi j.t.,
Your rojak mind is well-blended with "I Get A kick Out Of You '...
With mimi(4 yrs old )going to school I always have to buy boxes of pencils and pens ..I might want to get hold of that www.penisland .net.....hehehe.
Would Tom mind doing you????
Of course NOT.... sorry, I got infected by your rojak mind this evening!!!
Hi LUJ
I could not think of any other song at that time. I was looking for something upbeat. I may be changing it tomorrow or whenever I get tired of it. :)
...And when you do get hold of penisland, do grab their free offers. hahahaha (sorry, couldn't resist that)
Now, would Tom mind doing me? hmmmm.. Most likely NOT but he certainly looked 'do-able". :D
hahaha j.t..did he give u a 'eyes-widen-what-are-u-thinking' look? I hope he didn't 'suddenly' avoid you for the rest of the journey..:P
People do occassionally have a slip of the tongue, dont feel too bad ok :)
j.t.,
Don't change the song, I like it !! Listening to the song I could imagine how uncle Lee ( sorry uncle for having you in mind) dancing in his tuxedo... wow..look at his legs moving on to the beat....
'do-able' ??? hahahahaha...
we will we will rock you !!!
have a nice evening :)
Hi WinniethePooh
Thanks for dropping by. So nice to see you here.
When I said that to Tom, I quickly and sheepishly said,"oh my God, what did I just say? Please erase that from your mind." Then he said with a chuckle "you have a dirty mind." I laughed it off.
No, he did not avoid me after that. In fact, he was friendlier. I think that kind of 'broke the ice'.
Oh, slip of tongue - that is my curse. haha
Another incident is written in my previous posting "My Un-Fairy Tales"- last paragraph in red print.
Hey there LUJ
OK, I will leave that song on for a while.
I bet Uncle Lee will dance to it very well.
As for Mr Do-able, he was yummylicious. hahahaha
Rock on babe! :D
ha ha ha so did tom do you ? good post really made me laugh. Take care and stop asking people to do you kah ka kah
hmmm...
perhaps it was intentional, a gimmick of sort
some ppl think it's cool to have their names misrepresented like that.
a while back, in penang, a lot of ppl made bookings for a very special car registration number -- PEN 15
I would've thought everyone would avoid such number, but no!
same thing in singapore, many ppl were excited abt the registration plate SEX that the road transport dept considered to drop it and go straight to SEY. I dunno whether they actually issued the no. out or not
but it just goes to show, where some ppl wouldn't be caught dead with it, others would flaunt it.
and oh, u're in the habit of 'doing' ppl jac?
hahahaha
JT...hahaha...you make me love today...thank you for cheering me up...hahaha.. (never thought of such website exist...) hahaha...
Hahaha... yes JT, think before you speak. But don't worry, I'm sure there are others who went through all kinds of foul-ups, bloops and blunders. Here's one:
A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large
crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting
loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the
victim." The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was
a donkey. :)
Jac dear,
You wrote:
"Since I did yours, would you mind doing me?"
HAHAHAHAHA HOOOOOO HO HO HO HE HE HE...hik hik hik hik !
(I pause momentarily to give way to the choke). No continue,
HAH HAHAHHA HOOO HOOOOO...
Dear god, you are one funny lady. Off to laugh further
By the way,
I am at Starbucks you know. How dare you... now they must be really convinced that I am nuts!
It is always wonderful to know that people still has a sense of humor :) it definitely helps to save the day doesnt it, j.t. :)
i dont mind eating rojak everyday. i like coming here for occasional rojak. the taste is uniquely different from other rojaks but this one i can finish a large bowl within seconds. burp! so kenyang lah...
so did he do you in the end? ... right there and then?
JT....:) hahahhahaha...i laughed out loud....ah thanks for cheering up this cloudy sky.!
would love for u take my picture next time....use my camera as u like...hehehhe....for u to do me...and of course i will do u too, as good as u wish! i am afterall, quite good with my fingers on te shutter and zooms and have eyes for good pose and sceneries...
enough of photo shoot...now to the websites....they are funny!
ur rojak mind is yumylicious too....hehehehe
idham
Hello Apandi
You think? Would I be writing about it if he did? haha
OK, I promise not to ask anyone to do me...
in public! :D
You take care too.
Hello Sue
Yeah, I too think those website names were given with intention. A gimmick to catch people's attention.
Just like Penang and Singapore, I have come across some plates over here in Germany that gives me a good laugh.
By the way, if you are talking about 'doing' people as in helping take pictures - yes, especially if I move around in a group. I have 'done' many people over the years. hahaha
Hello Raden
Glad this made you laugh. I did when I received it. Funny names, aren't they?
If I ever get a chance to live in Italy, powergenitalia might be the answer for my electricity in dark times. hahahaha
Very funny Pi Bani. That was a good one, you hilarious lady.
Now that is far more embarassing than my slip up, I think. It was in front of a crowd.
I believe if I had that slip of the tongue within an earshot of other people, I would have wished for the ground to open up and swallow me. :)
Elviza sweetie
Did you choke on your coffee, cookie or meal?
Laughing out loud and alone in Starbucks does give the impression that one is certifiably nuts.
Welcome to my world. :)
Hi Winnie
Absolutely so. I think I would have been more embarassed if he did not have a sense of humour. That saved the day. :)
Hello KC
Thank you for that compliment. Good to know this 'rojak' left you burping! :)
Hey Zewt,
Yes, he did me right there and then - we were both satisfied with the outcome of the 'doing'. Nowadays, with digital cameras, one can check to see if they need another round of 'doing'. hahahaha
Hello Idham
Ahh! I see we have an expert 'doer' here. Finger play is very important. :) I am still learning how to 'do'. My night pictures were horrible. My hands were shaky at times. I did not bring a tripod with me. I have to remember to do that next time I plan to take night pictures.
I assume I can take that statement about my 'rojak' mind being 'yummylicious' as a compliment. :)
I am glad that your skies have cleared up.
this is the first time i hear about digital cameras being used as toy... i mean tool in the 'doing' activity... very refreshing indeed.
hehehe JT, Zewt...u wicked thing!
Come to think of it JT...i hv developed some kind of expertise too for night pictures ..with or without tripod...
eh where got my sky clear yet, ....i said u cheer my cloudy sky up la dear.
errrrmm.....how to take picture today arrr....camera no film!!!
idham
Hello Idham :)
Yes, Zewt is a wicked thing, isn't he? Wickedly amusing, I must say. His blog is my daily drug - I wonder where he gets all those ideas to write. I think effects of modern slavery has got something to do with it. Right Zewt?
Wah Idham, you have 'steady hands' then. I always have trouble with night pictures. Remind me to email one over to you. The street lights and car lights plus a shaky hand (digital camera using the slow shutter mode) turned my picture into something abstract. I saved that one for my laptop background. haha
Eh, sorry la.. I misread about your cloudy skies. OK then... I am happy to know that I managed to bring some sunshine into your cloudy day.
May I ask ... are you still using camera requiring film? OK, OK some people still do - it is a personal choice. Isn't it easier to have a digital one?
Uh-uh...it started with a slip of tongue but the word-play that followed (pi bani add up some more) - now I'm so scared to touch any camera! heheh..imagine when someone ask me in the future to snap his/her/their pic - I'll always think of you!
Hello Rad
Isn't it ironic that a simple slip-of-the-tongue story can lead to other conceptions? Active minds 'do' a lot. hehe
Glad to know that you will recall this incident when you have to take someone's photo in the future. Nice to be thought of. :)
Me.. I am afraid I may burst into laughter. Then, that person will wonder what triggered such a reaction. In turn I will be confirmed certifiably nuts.
hey j.t.....that's my hubby's phone, I got all the things that i demanded ..but it's just in my dreamland.......hay ya, I just got back from the flea market ... and gotta take a long bus -ride home....( listening to this Candyman make my ride goes bump bump bump )....hehehe :P
have a nice evening!!
What a list, huh? Jacket, car, house... *sigh* only in my dreams. :)
I love this song Candyman because it gets me all rhythm-y and 'bop-py'. It is an infectious song.
So...what do you look for in a flea market? I usually scout for antiques.
Hi JT, Sure love your sense of humour.
I love that wrong number bit. Ha ha.
Sometime ago, I too had a wrong number and a lady, I think Chinese...never even ssid, 'hello', but obviously was in a foul mood said, "where are you, I wait so long.."!
I answered, "I was with another woman".
She, "WHAT"? Then her, "ohh sh..t"! She hung up. Arhaaa ha ha.
Keep well, JT, UL.
Ps, me in tuxedo and dancing? Ha ha.
"Since I did yours, would you mind doing me?"...
Haha...You're a real hoot!
Let me share this line which I said in front of a crowd of over 100 people, during one of the debate finals in which I was a speaker...
Was talking about natural resources of rich countries and the refugee problem...My team's stand was to convince the crowd rich country's should take care of their own people with whatever resources they have and not have to overburden themselves with other people's problems until they solve their own...
To summarise, I used an analogy...
I said:
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Humanity is a monkey deprived of bananas. We do not have enough bananas to go around, so please, just keep your bananas to yourself...
I couldnt for the life of me understand why one of the male judges disappeared under the table howling with laughter while the otehr two lady judges were giggling...
Only later, one of my friends enlightened me ;)
Anyway, they obviously loved it! We won the case, and I got best speaker!
JT,
And I thought I was the one in the gutter.. but you ladies kan, alaamaak, you ladies teruk lagi.. Make me look like a saint.
And to think, JT, I hope that conversation didn't happen in the Vatican did it?
Got a real good kick out of this JT.. hehee...
From,
-A Sinner Pretending To Be a Saint-
Hello U.Lee
That is sooo funny - "I was with another woman". Poor lady. She must have realised you were not her significant other after you said that. hahaha
Oh that bit about you in tuxedo, LUJ and I were imagining you dancing to Frank Sinatra's song - I Get A Kick Out Of You. :)
You take care Uncle.
Now Daphne, you're a hoot. "Keep your bananas to yourself". Hilarious!
Oh! there was this other incident at the Christian cemetery in Malacca. It was All Souls Day. The priest gathered everyone in one spot first for Mass. When it was over, everyone present were supposed to make their way to their respective relatives' graves so that the priest could come around to bless them. He said, "Brothers and Sisters, please go back to your graves. I will be there shortly for the blessing."
Oh Mat Salo
I have been in the gutter a long time ago. I was wondering why there were so few with me. All it took was to open one little topic and voila! ... we are now doing the Conga. Care to join us? :) Lots of room.
My best friend, Lady Patsy (of Lady Patsy's Chambers blog) and I have already book our seats in hell. We think since we have already sinned so badly, we might as well continue with that trend. haha
By the way Mat Salo, I am afraid that conversation with Tom took place exactly in St. Peter Square in front of the Basilica. :D
With sizzling regards from the hottest place in the after-life, JT
Hey that was my phone! No wonder I'm broke :)
Oh Hello Tunku
I am so sorry. Sure is no joke to be broke. :)
Hi JT, hey, I noticed under your profile your 'Location' shows, 'Malaysia'? How come not Deutchland?
And re Jacque's curve...hmm, I'm thinking 'curves'...the ones in sarongs in a red MGB on a moonlight night in Penang, ha ha ha. Yes, those curves. UL.
Hi U.Lee
When I set up my profile (last year), I was in between two countries of the western world (plans to move were in place). I figured using a neutral location was better. When I started blogging this year, I did have the intention to change it but thought I will just let it be. Wow.. did not think someone would notice that. :)
Aha! so that blog name does give such an impression. hahaha Now, if only I can find that photo of myself in a sarong....
sarong kebaya :D
had a good laugh on this entry, thanks for making my day! :)
Hello Wailer
Thanks for dropping by. Glad this entry made your day. Hope to see you around. :)
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