A minute of your time, please

About a year ago (March 24th), I started blogging. I have to say it has been an exciting ride for me. Along the way, I met many wonderful people. Suddenly I don't feel alone being away from my beloved Malaysia because I meet Malaysians every day of the week through cyberspace. I have even exchanged phone numbers with them so that we can be in touch in more ways than one. I am thankful for that.

(cartoon courtesy of www.enasha.com)

“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” said Maxwell Maltz (US plastic surgeon, motivational author, and creator of the Psycho-Cybernetics, 1927-2003).

Yes, that helps but I think what John Donne (1572-1631) said seems more realistic, if you like, that "No man is an island"

Now, we are complicated creatures ruled by emotions. Some days we can handle it on our own, and other days we need a friend's shoulder. Most people are lucky to have a friend nearby to unleash their inner most thoughts over a cup of coffee. It becomes challenging when one has moved around a lot - like me. So I resort to catching someone online and if that fails, I use the phone. Maybe it was just not my day, sometime last week, or the people I tried to connect with online were busy and did not respond to my saying "hello". One of them said "what's up?". I don't know about you but that sounded like a busy response. :) I did not want to impose.

Mind you, it was past 10pm over here - I certainly wouldn't want to call anyone in the States and wake up a sleeping household. (And even if I had a friend locally, I can count a coffee session out at that hour). I could have emailed someone (and I did before ... when it was an issue I can wait on) but sometimes, I am sure you will agree with me, we need to talk to someone in real time and get immediate feedback. The only person whom I knew was awake and possibly free was my best friend in Malaysia. So, I called her and thankfully she was free and patiently listened to me.

(pic courtesy of
www.freewebs.com)

Now I am not being dramatic about my situation (that's settled) but it brings to mind how we sometimes get caught up with our own lives and do not realise that some minutes of our time can make a huge difference to another in need. (I am guilty of it, at times). I could not help but think about an incident that someone regrets - not being there for her friend in his last hours. This lady was going about her evening routine - the usual kitchen work after dinner and then to relax in front of the TV with her favourite shows. Her phone rang at 8:00pm. Her friend, of many years, asked her if she had time to speak to him. She said that she was busy and told him that she will call him back another day. Next morning, she received news that he died of a heart attack at 11:00pm. When she shared this news with us she also added, in tears, that she regretted not giving him a few minutes of her time. She admitted that she took his friendship for granted. Now, she will never know what he wanted to share in his last hours.

Anyway, I was looking back on what I used to write early last year and found this poem, which I would like to share again:

Someday I will soar to the heavens
Above the clouds with song in my heart
Someday I will ascend to the blues
Leaving all cares, I will depart
Until then I'll remain on this earth
Journeying the road of life with sight
Until then I will walk with faith
That my path is the runaway for my flight

(pic courtesy of www.landscapedvd.com)

Someday I will set sail to the seas
To the far and open waters of this earth
Someday I will be one with the breeze
Giving me peace and my soul rebirth
Until then the shores of life I'll stroll
Leaving the prints of my life's expedition
Until then I will give my all
before I sail away to fulfil my aspiration

- Jacqueline Tegjeu

(pic coutesy of www.atlastours.net)

Tagged - What Do You Think About Me?

I was tagged by Nightwing of Carpe Diem. (Nightwing, hope you don't mind my "borrowing" your profile picture).

It seemed fun when I read it in his blog but now I am feeling a little shy. Why? The five people whom I am going to tag will have to talk about me. On second thought, it will be good to know what they think of me. So here goes ....


A) LIST OUT THE TOP 5 PRESENTS YOU WISH FOR :
1. Love
2. Happiness
3. Health
4. Security
5. Retirement money!

B) THE PERSON WHO TAGGED ME IS: Nightwing

C) YOUR 5 IMPRESSIONS OF HIM:
1. Kind
2. Friendly
3. Loves to Sing (and good at it)
4. Honest
5. Sensible

D) MOST MEMORABLE THINGS HE HAS GIVEN/DONE FOR YOU:
Being a regular supporter/reader of my blog. :)

E) THE MOST MEMORABLE WORDS HE SAID TO YOU:
When he shared his take on each one of us having a purpose in life in my previous post - Takeaways of 2007.

F) IF HE BECOMES YOUR LOVER, YOU WILL:
... be slaughtered by his girlfriend.

G) IF HE BECOMES YOUR ENEMY, THE REASON WILL BE:
... that he crossed some boundaries with me. Frankly, I don't see that happening because of my impressions of him (as above).

(picture courtesy of www.theadobefineart.com)

H) PASS THE QUIZ TO 5 PEOPLE THAT YOU WISH TO KNOW HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU:

(Oh dear! this is where I hope the persons I tag will be good sports. One reminder from previous post - Simple Life Lessons ... "If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.") :D

No. 1. Ruby Ahmad
No. 2. Rashikaps
No. 3. Daphne Ling
No. 4. Lady Patsy
No. 5. MsJ

1. WHO IS No.3 (Daphne Ling) HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH?
As far as I know, she is not in a relationship. If she is, I would love to know! (so that this aunty kaypoh will not try to fix her up with someone else).

2. WHO IS No.5 (MsJ) HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH?
Her husband, MrJ. She also enjoys a wonderful mother-son relationship with her gorgeous little boy, BabyJ.

3. IF No.3 (Daphne Ling) AND No.2 (Rashikaps) ARE TOGETHER, WILL IT BE A GOOD THING?
I believe so. Aquarians tend to get along well with each other.

4. WHAT ABOUT No.4 (Lady Patsy) AND No.5 (MsJ)?
I guess it will be good too. I know MsJ is very friendly. However, Lady Patsy might need me to "hold her hands" for the first meeting (hahaha). Lady Patsy is a reserved person (which some people unfairly mistake it for being snooty). Once someone gets to know Lady Patsy, that person may never leave her chambers! :D

5. WHAT IS No.3 (Daphne Ling) STUDYING?
I believe she is doing some pre-uni course in preparation for her psychology degree in Canada.

6. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU CHATTED WITH No.5 (MsJ)?
Some weeks ago, on the phone.

7. DOES NO.4 (Lady Patsy) WORK?
Yes ... but don't ask me where. I forgot.

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY COUSINS IN HER SCHOOL?
What school? Patsy left formal schooling many moons ago. However, if this refers to the school of hard knocks, then yes. Not only are my cousins there, I am too. (I believe many of us haven't really graduated from this school. Education never ends).

(picture courtesy of www.businesscartoons.co.uk)

9. WILL YOU BE WITH No.1 (Ruby Ahmad)?
Yes, if I ever get back to Malaysia for a holiday. I would love for us to finally meet. We did mention KLCC as the ideal spot. Now to choose location within KLCC. (Must make sure it is a place where we can people-watch). ;)

10. HOW ABOUT No.5 (MsJ) ?
Yes, if I ever get to Colorado! I envision us having a bitchin' session. :D

11. DOES No.2 (Rashikaps) HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?
She has mentioned a younger sister.

12. HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW ABOUT No.2 (Rashikaps) AND No.4 (Lady Patsy)?
I met Rashi through blogging (and found we have quite a lot in common).
I met Patsy in 1990 when we were brought together to present a single's weekend (for the church) in K.L. (I have not been able to leave her chambers since then. She has me bound!)

13. WHERE DOES No.1 (Ruby Ahmad) LIVE?
err.... Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. She is so worldly, it is anyone's guess. :)
(picture courtesy of www.tlrp.org)

14. HOW DID YOU GET TO KNOW No.3 (Daphne Ling)?
When she interviewed me for her write-up on blogs in "The Star". (Thanks Daphne!)

15. IS No.5 (MsJ) THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD?
She is va-va-voom! I am certain MrJ thinks so too.

Simple Life Lessons

Here's something that I found in my archives worth sharing ....

1 Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

2 Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. (yeah! like that guy who called bloggers "monkeys" and then finally became one himself ... read here).

3 Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 Drive carefully -- it's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 Never buy a car you can't push.

9 Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. (This could be the reason why some people we know lost votes after having too many things coming their way)

14 Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15 You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

16 Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

17 We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box .

18 A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Of Asses and Governments

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the ad lines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . .

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

*******************************************

But in some situations, public opinion matters. This is especially so when one is in public office! When one is in a job to serve others, opinion matters. Seems like some people have been living this mantra for too long. They are enjoying for sure ... at the expense of others.

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. - Edward R. Murrow

The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them. - Mark Twain

States are not moral agents, people are, and can impose moral standards on powerful institutions. - Noam Chomsky

The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government. - Thomas Jefferson

A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor and bread it has earned -- this is the sum of good government. - Thomas Jefferson

VOTE WISELY

A Woman Should ...

International Women's Day (IWD) is celebrated on March 8 every year. I know I am two weeks early but I figured I'd better put this out now before I get caught up with something else and eventually miss the date.

IWD is a major day of global celebration for the economic, political and social achievements of women. If you would like to know more about the history of IWD, read here.

To commemorate this day (in advance), I wish to share what Maya Angelou said (and hopefully empower women at the same time):

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .. a youth she's content to leave behind

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..... one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honoured

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a feeling of control over her destiny

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without losing herself

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...what she would and wouldn't do for love or more

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...where to go - be it to her best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, and a year

And ... here's a reality check from Oprah:

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.
Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Now, this is in no way a male-bashing moment. I am hoping that sharing these thoughts (that was sent to me via email), it will make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.