Murphy's Laws of Work

Monday - the beginning of the work week (in most places). The alarm clock rings in the morning. I reach for it to push the snooze button. I tell myself, "please, a few more minutes." It rings again. I go "arggghh...not again." I wake up and drag myself to the bathroom and get ready to face a new week. It is so hard to adjust to a Monday but once the day starts (typically, after lunch!), I am on the roll. Come what may. (I recover faster than Snoopy)



When I worked in Malaysia in the 90s, I used to commute between Klang and KL. I definitely don't miss it. Waking up at an unearthly hour just to catch the 6:20am bus (then the train from mid-90s) drained me after half a decade. However, I do miss the buzz that came with working in the Golden Triangle. I loved the city life. I used to look forward to lunch - varieties to be tried and tested. From the mamak stall to the food courts. From sandwich joints to western restaurants. Some days, my lunch consisted of just fruits and a sandwich in the office. Other days, when I felt like treating myself, I will end up in Chilli's (or an equivalent) with my trusted companion - a book. I enjoyed my work too, challenges and all.

Now, there are some things that happen in a work place, I think, that is quite universal. The axiom of anything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong holds true. It is called the Murphy's Laws of Work. Below are some of them which may sound familiar to you. I got these from a website containing the largest collection of humour online.

1. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

2. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

3. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

4. Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.

5. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

6. Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in a hard days work.

7. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

8. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.

9. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

10. The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.

11. There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

12. The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization. (For instance, The Murphy Center for Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted to IBM, GM, AT&T ...).

13. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

14. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk. (e.g. blogging? )

15. People are always available for work in the past tense.

16. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

17. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

18. The longer the title, the less important the job.

19. Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

20. All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own.

Oh yeah, another thing - ever notice that no one gets sick on Wednesdays.

For more, go here.

One last word. If you have to give an excuse to get away from work, make sure the excuse works. Don't get caught like this guy:


"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.